manic

3 0 0

by yelllowrose_

by yelllowrose_

How am I supposed to open up
Without saying too much
I wish I was simply sad, but no
I've planned my suicide in my head
Multiple times.
It stays in my head for a while
Until my mood shifts again and here I am
Spiraling out of control with anger and leaving my friends on read when they ask if I'm okay again.
I'm not sad right now, but my mind is racing 100 miles per second and my chest is heavy.
I wake up and feel like I can't breathe, I throw fits in the middle of the night because I'm too hot. I scream at my sister for no reason and walk away from my friends because I don't want to yell at them for something they said. I don't know what I want to do with my life anymore, and frankly, I don't care.
That's the thing.
I don't care anymore, about anything.
I feel like I'm going insane but how do I say that to my loved ones.
I can't.
For as long as I live I'm just gonna keep on going until I'm gone