Ruins of the past

Chapter 17

I killed again, murdered.
But this time I don't feel regret, that I should have tried to solve it otherwise. He deserved it.
Slowly I sink down onto my knees, breathing heavily and sweat running down my back.
He's dead. And so is Chryss.
I sighn, turn around and take a lot at Tato.
He's still bleeding a lot, he won't last long.
And even if he did, with only one leg he wouldn't survive.
"Hi", I finally whisper and kneel down next to him, Chryss dead body a few inches away.
"She cared for me when I was afraid", he managed to say, weak and tired, "now she's dead and I will follow soon."
"I have some bandag-"
"We both know I wouldn't even survive a single day, not to mention the entire games. Keep them for yourself", a cough shakes his whole body, "don't waste them on me."
I just sit by his side, he's surprisingly calm. "If I had been better I could have saved her", he turns his head away.
Quietly I reach out to him, grab his hand. "It's not your fault."
It's the capitols fault. And even tho I really want to tell him that, I can't. They would kill me, and everyone I care about.
A few minutes later a canon shot, he's dead.
Finally I reach out and close his eyes, same with Chryss.
Then I stand up, take my backpack, now all in all five knifes, and my sword. Stepping aside, I grab the backpack from her murderer as well and leave for a while, the knife he used still in her throat, I don't want it. It should go, never be used again.
They should take it out of here with her corpse.

It's about three in the morning, I sat down in the empty ruin, no symbols this time.
Could they mean something?
Also, 'how generous the Capitol is'. Sure, I mean we're starving and even simple illnesses can kill us, many are homeless and so on.
The rebels wanted to change that, free us.
In school they told us that they wanted to continue the games, this time with children from the Capitol. They found secret plans for a new arena, ruins of a city, how fitting.
But is that true? They knew how it feels to be here, why would they want to do that to others?
As a little kid I was glad they were killed, I thought they were wrong, but then I learned to question the system, began being critically about what they told us.
I wear my backpack, open the guys one. It's pretty small and a bright pink, but it has some amazing things in it.
Five apples, seven whole packages, five of dryed meat, two of crackers. An already filled two litre bottle made from steel, and a thin but very warm sleeping bag.

The well known melodie, the pictures projected onto the clear sky.
They were the only ones that died today. Eleven of us are still alive, ten will have to die.
I close my eyes, lean back.
That's why I didn't want allies. I'd have to kill them, or in this case, see them get killed. It hurt, even tho I didn't knew them very well.

I killed, twice.
The first time I didn't plan to, just wanted to save myself, tried to push her away at first.
But the second time, I wanted it. Does that make me a monster? He killed her first, it was his own fault, not mine!
What do they think of me now?
Does the Capitol see me as a good player, someone worth to sponsor if I need it? What do my parents feel about me? Do they hate me even more now? It would be understandable.
They always talked bad about Vastus when we did go to the market, we saw his house, tall and luxerious, he didn't need to work.
They hate him because he's a cold blooded killer, do they see me as one too?
What about my classmates? I never really talked to them, was daydreaming a lot, quiet.
Do they think I enjoy this?
A lot of question, and still no answer.
Then it hits me, Res.
She always talked about how she would rather die than to kill someone, end an innocent live.
But the careero wasn't innocent.
How those people disgust her, how she wouldn't talk to them to save her live.
What about me?

My eyes open wide, a loud sound in the distance.
A lightning strike, but the sky is clear, not a single cloud.
Two loud canon shots, then silence. Warm wind brushes against my skin.
I need a few seconds, finally stand up, drink something.
It's still early morning, nine left.
Lightning, electricity. Did Curen do that? Is he alive?
I kinda hope so, but I also hope he's not, I wouldn't want to kill him later on.
I sighn, knowing I have to wait till night hits to find out.
Then I take my stuff, I need to go.
But in which direction?
I look around, sand everywhere.
Then, the palm trees. I can't climb too good but I would know where to go.
So, I climb them up, hiding my supplies first.
At the top, I take a look around.
Desert for miles, then a small grassland in the distance, the Cornucopia glowing golden, the big lake kinda close, reflecting the morning sun, the little forest where the girl died.
A small island, about half a mile into the lake, a campfire has to be burning, considering the white smoke.
In the distance, the mountains.

The lake seems like a good idea, it's a potantial watersource if I can find a way to get the salt out of it, maybe a few clean lakes nearby, animals could be there too.
Animals, and other tributes.
The climate here is pretty intense, hot during the day, freezing at night, but my jacket keeps me warm.
Hopefully it's better over there.

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So. My story was gone for a while but it was just a bug!
Yay.