A Whisper of Night

17.2 || LORELEI 🌊

"So this...this was all a dream?" Astna said.

They were sitting atop the hill outside the encampment, watching the nightfires flicker. It was two days since they'd taken the rest of Masseig - Astna now held half of Old Skeynvald. Lorelei could vaguely remember the celebrations from the night before - all the good wine - even Astna had drank some....

"No," she said. She gestured to her ankle, shaking. "No, it was not. I was cut...besides, I've...I've had these dreams before. Dreams where I saw. I saw my family, once. Except - except they were making prophecies. And I think I saw Queen Majaeyra once - a young woman with a silver crown - but I've never had something like this. I killed someone, Astna. I killed half a dozen men...."

"It could be an omen," Astna said quietly. "Or...or it could be a nightmare."

"Have you ever gotten cut in a nightmare?"

Astna was silent.

Lorelei stared at the fires, watched them flicker in and out of sight like a million fireflies. The air in Skeynvald was thick and smoggy, due in no small part to all of Astna's battles. The air back at Stromvald had been cool and crisp and clear...no, it hadn't been a dream. It couldn't have.

"Lorelei?" Astna said. "Is there anything...anything I can do for you?"

She shook her head. "Back - back home," she said, "I would go to a brothel. Or something. I'd disguise myself...I..." No - you're talking too much - stop - "...I like women," she whispered.

"Oh?"

Lorelei studied the grass beneath her legs. She picked at them, let the dust stain her arms. She hadn't washed herself yet, and her arms looked grotesquely mottled beneath the half-light of early morning. "Yeah," she croaked. "I like women. I've always..." she turned to Astna, tears welling in her eyes. "Why did I tell you this? Oh, Gods Above, why did I - "

Astna embraced her. "It's all right," she murmured. "It's all right - that's all right - "

A sob broke from Lorelei's throat as Astna patted her back gently. "My family's dead," she cried. "My family's dead - "

"Shh, shh...."

"I l-left them. I couldn't save them - I should've stayed - I should've stayed and h-helped - I should've done something - why - why?!"

Grief shook her, tore at her insides until her desperation and rage burst from her lips in a raw, ragged scream.

"I SHOULD'VE STAYED - IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME - WHY - WHY KEVIN, HE WAS GOOD - HE WAS JUST GOOD AND SO INNOCENT - WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS - THEY SHOULD'VE PUNISHED ME - THEY'RE PUNISHING ME FOR MY SINS - MY FATHER WAS RIGHT, THIS IS ALL MY FAULT - THE G-GODS K-KNOW WHAT I D-DID AND NOW THEY'RE - NOW - N-NOW - "

She sank to the ground, sobs racking her body.

"Shh," Astna murmured. "It wasn't your fault - you can't do anything about it - "

"It's all m-my fault," Lorelei croaked. "It's all my fault - I should've knelt on broken glass for a thousand days and nights like Cerovar the Conqueror - it's all my fault and WHY? WHY KEVIN? WHY FATHER? WHY?"

She let out another scream, let it echo down the hill and shiver through the skies.

Astna wrapped an arm around her, holding her as she sobbed against her. "It'll be all right," she murmured. "It'll all be all right...but right now you have to be strong. Right now we have to...we have to find out more about your dreams."