His little Neko

You Want Me to be a What?

Harry's POV
"Good boy. You did very well and I'm very proud of you." Draco told me as he held me close.
"You don't hate me?" I asked.
"No. I will never hate you. Yes you messed up but that does not mean you are bad or that I don't love you anymore." I cuddled closer as he said this. I needed his warmth and I needed hugs.
He continued to hold me close. I felt safe and I felt loved. And I believed him when he told me that he would never hate me.
"Harry, baby do you want to watch a movie?" He asked me. I whined as I clung to him. I wanted to cuddle. As a child I want given this and I wanted to take it now that it was being offered to me. "Shhh now. It's okay. I have you. I won't let go."
After about half an hour of cuddling, Draco moved so I was facing him. "Harry I need to tell you something but I need you to be open to it okay?" I nodded. I would listen but I wouldn't guarantee I would agree to it.
"Theres something called ddlb. It stands for Daddy Dom little Boy. In this relationship one person is the Daddy Dom. The take care of the other like a child. They set rules and look after the little boy. The little boy is care for like a child and they enter something called a headspace. They slip into a feeling of being younger than they are. I'd like you to try it."
"So you want me to be some helpless child that you can boss around? I did that already and I don't plan to do it again. No thank you." I want going to let him treat me like my aunt and uncle did. I want going to be his little push over. I would be his equal until he earned otherwise.
"No that is not at all what I want. I want you to be able to go into a mindset where you feel safe and where you can relax because you know you're safe. Where you don't have to make decisions and can just relax."
"So some mindless servant? Not going to happen. Not now not ever." My uncle spent years trying to train me to be a mindless servant but he never succeeded and neither would Draco.
"No. Not what I meant either. True submission isn't about helpless obedience or mindless service. It's about trusting your dominant to protect you and take care of you. It's about trusting your dominant so that you can be free to be who you want to be. Being a little is about letting someone else take care of you so you don't have to worry about the stress of life and you can just be free."
"That sounds nice Draco but I'm not sure if that's for me."
"I think you know it is. You have tendencies of a little. I think you're scared to admit it and that is perfectly fine. And it's perfectly normal but I need you to trust me."
"Trust you? Based on what Draco? Based on all the times you've hurt me?!?"
   "I don't have a track record but shouldn't today be proof that I'm changing?"
    "Trusting you to change and trusting you to take care off me are too very different things. I can't do it Draco. Not right now."
    "Are you making that decision from your heart or your head."
     "Does it matter?"
    "The head makes decisions out of fear and the heart makes decisions based on what we want."
     "What I want is to be safe."
     "And I can give that to you. Please. Let me."
     "I'll give you a one week but if you mess up you could be through."
     "I know. And I'm grateful you're going to give me a chance. Does this mean you'll try ddlb?"
     "I guess it does."
     "I smiled. Let me show you your room. You have lots of stuffed toys." Part of me was very happy at that but the other part of me was still against all of this.
      He led me to a room beside his. Inside was a white wooden wardrobe. There was also an adult size crib and a changing table. He was not changing me. No way no how. There was also a blue toy box and a plastic table. The crib was lined with blue sheets and had a few toys in it.
     "Yeah no. I may have sort of agreed to all of this but I am not sleeping in a crib or having you change me!" He sighed as if to keep himself from exploding.
     "You will always have the choice to sleep in your crib or my bed except for naptime. As for the changing table, that's just how it's going to be."
     I was angry. He may be the dominant but he did not have control. But yet anyway. "No. If I let you then when I let you but until then, I change my close and I use the loo." The pile of diapers next to the changing table didn't escape my notice.
     "Harry you promised to give this a chance. That means all of this." He said. Would I let him? He didbt seem forceful or angry and I felt like if I said no he would agree but was I going to say no? He hadn't hurt me yet and it did sound nice to have a childhood that I never did. Maybe I could give it a chance? No. He just wanted to take advantage of me. He didn't care. He just wanted to see me hurt. To see me begging for him to stop. But hadn't he already had an opportunity to hurt me? Yet he hadn't done any of that. Was it worth giving him the opportunity to hurt me in exchange for the possibility of something so much better? In all of my fear and confusion I didnt hear him say that he would never make me do anything I didnt want to.