Episode 39: Haru, The Killer Pt. 2

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I wanted to hang my head and not look at Haru. I was afraid if I saw those eyes in that moment of confession, I too would be helpless and lost. Something within me would have wanted to prove his curse false. I was afraid I would offer myself up to him in any fashion he wanted; to drink from me until I too was passing from this world. After all, until he had come along, I felt like I hadn’t much to live for anyway. I couldn’t explain the effect his honesty had on me. Any other time, I would have been jealous of his love for Chiyo, but instead I was enchanted by it. To want someone so bad you would do anything to make them yours. Perhaps this is the true lure of the vampire for us girls. Knowing that they would risk everything to be with you for eternity. I found myself in a daze thinking these thoughts, and the spell was only broken when Haru spoke again.


“Ryo was beyond grieved after the loss of Chiyo. Not only had she lost her heart to me, she had lost her life to the same kind of darkness that had changed us years earlier. Except it didn’t embrace her as it had us. It didn’t spit her back out as a sister of the blood. No, it kept her for all eternity.”

Haru wiped a tear from his cheek, and I noticed it was pink, as if the tear was mixed with his blood. I wanted to wipe it away, but didn’t dare.

“We had never been real cousins, Ryo and I, but we are of the same vampire family, turned by the same father. For this reason, he couldn’t kill me without enduring our master’s wrath. He pledged to make me spend the rest of our existence in the same kind of misery as he. In the beginning, that meant he would end every relationship I tried to have. If I got close to a girl, he would reveal my nature to them, and if that didn’t break us up, he would attempt to steal her heart away. Again, if that failed, he would arrange for her to disappear. For good.”

“You mean, since Chiyo, he has killed every girlfriend you’ve had?” I asked in alarm.

“No, most are run off when he reveals what I did to Chiyo. And if they didn’t leave then, if it didn’t bother them I was a bloodsucking vampire, they left when they found out I couldn’t make them one.”

He pulled the car back out into the road. “I guess we should be heading to see your dad, rather than just sitting here and listening to my pathetic life.”

“No, Haru. Your life isn’t pathetic. You were only doing what you thought was best for both of you. You aren’t a cold blooded killer or anything. You loved her. I could only hope someone loved me as much.”

He turned his head to me. “Are you serious? You would die for love? You would die for just one moment of ecstasy?”

“People have died for less, Haru. In Chiyo’s defense, she didn’t know she would have just one moment, but she risked it. She gave herself to you, and maybe I’m wrong in saying this, but because of that she will always be yours. Even if it’s just in memory.”

For a moment I thought he was either going to wreck the car into a tree, or turn it around and go back home. A look crossed his face, born of anguish and his tortured soul. He shook his head as if that would shake the past from his very frame.

“Well, anyway, I guess after today you will want to forget about me and move on.”

“Why is that?” I asked.

“I’m a disappointment. Poor excuse for a vampire. I can’t make you into one of us. All the nights we spend are limited. Every moment with me is the same as everyone else. I’m not special. I’m just like any other boy.”

“You are special, Haru. Don’t sell yourself short. In some ways, maybe you are like any other boy. But any other boy wouldn’t have looked at me twice.”

“Now look who’s selling themselves short.” He took one hand off the steering wheel and touched my cheek. “For the record, I can’t stop looking at you. But if you see me differently now, I understand.”

“The only way I’ll see you any different is if you don’t keep this car on the road.”

He returned his attention to driving and realized he was about to run us into a ditch. He swerved the car and gave me a bashful “Sorry.” I thought it was the cutest thing ever.

Chelsea Valley Asylum is an hour away, but it is still linked to our town. It seems everything in my life is a reminder there is no escape from the valley. I told Haru as such, as we pulled into the parking lot.

“There’s worse places you could be,” he replied.

Looking at the old brick building before us, I found that hard to believe. The day had become overcast, and the heavy clouds had thrown deep shadows against the asylum walls. In this light, it didn’t look like a friendly place. The last time I’d been here, it had been a bright, cheery day. Or at least as cheery as it can be when one of your parents is locked up in a crazy house.

We got out of the car, and I noticed that Haru was sticking to the shadows. The day he walked me home from school, he had stood out there in the blazing sun with no problem, but today he seemed to be playing it safe. “Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m alright.”

I didn’t quite believe him. He looked to be sweating more than usual. “Do you need to feed?”

“Probably so, mom,” he replied with a half grin.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

“So, you can’t drink from me at all? Not even a little? Just to get your strength?”

“I could, but I’m not sure I could trust myself just to have you a little.”

I blushed. Part of me wondered if we were still talking about blood drinking, or something else.

At the front door of the hospital we had to present our ID’s. I was kind of surprised when Haru handed his to the guard. I guess you don’t really expect vampires to carry identification.

The guard, a tall, towering man, looked at Haru’s ID briefly, before turning mine over in his hand. He glanced at me , then back down at the card. For a moment, it looked like he was studying the information, cataloging it away for future use. It kind of creeped me out , but then Haru took my hand to show I was with him, and the guard smiled, handing the card back. He let us in the building, and I didn’t look back as we passed him, because I knew I would see him staring at me.

The interior of the hospital was more pleasant than the exterior. At least inside it didn’t look run down or abandoned. It looked just like a typical hospital. White walls, polished floors, voices calling out for various doctors over a public address system. Orderlies and attendants moved about, up and down the hallways, in and out of rooms, all going about their various duties with precision and purpose. We approached the front desk and presented our ID’s again. An older nurse, who looked like she might have once been on her college wrestling team, looked at us with an odd smile.

“Well, he said someone was coming to visit soon. I didn’t believe him.” She stood up from the desk. “So many get forgotten and left behind,” she sighed. “Follow me, he’s in the day room.”

We followed the nurse down the hall. Her size and attitude ensured we made it to our destination without anyone bothering us. We walked by a few patients, most of whom were hanging out in the open doorways to their room. These must have been the harmless ones, residents whose psyche wasn’t so damaged they posed a threat.

Not all doors were open however. Some were closed, and though I had the urge to peek in a window or two, Haru held me back. His hand holding mine kept me close, as if he were afraid if I looked in those areas I would succumb to their madness as well.

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