|Sherlock Imagines|

John: #7

Pairing: John Watson x Reader
Song: Leaving On A Jet Plane
Warnings: sad sad

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go, I'm standing here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.

You laid on your back in bed, staring up at the ceiling. The clock on the bedside table read 1:28 a.m. You should have gone to bed hours ago. Yet here you were, wide awake. Your boyfriend slept peacefully beside you, and in that moment you were particularly envious of his ability to fall asleep in the blink of an eye.

Your gaze remained on the ceiling as your thoughts raced. You were restless, unable to sleep with the worries swimming around your head. You had no concept of time, no realization of it slipping away. The clock ticked away, the aglow number getting higher and higher as morning prowled closer.

Before you could even try to sleep, to try and force your eyes closed, the sun was rising. It was already morning. Panic rose in your throat as your boyfriend stirred. You forced yourself to climb out of bed, the movements robotic. You stumbled to the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind you.

But the dawn is breaking, its early morn, the taxis waiting. He's blowing his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could die.

You splashed cold water on your face, staring yourself down in the mirror. You wished you could command yourself to pull it together, to be stronger. But as a soft knock rapped on the door you crumbled even more. You took a deep breath before opening the door, coming face to face with the love of your life John Watson.

"Good morning." His voice was scratchy, as if sleep had not quite left him yet. You studied him, desperate not to forget his bedhead or the way his tired eyes seemed to brighten when they fell on you.

"What are you doing?"

"Committing you to memory."

So kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you'll wait for me. Hold me like you'll never let me go.

He gave you a sleepy, sad smile. "My bedhead isn't something I want you to remember."

"I'll remember everything."

You knew he was joking, trying to lighten the mood. But you didn't find anything funny about the fact that you were going to lose your best friend. You knew in the rational part of your brain that you weren't actually losing him.

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again. Oh, babe, I hate to go.

But you might as well be; he was leaving. He was leaving you to fend for yourself. To find your keys that always seemed to disappear by yourself. To walk to the store down the road without getting lost by yourself. To take care of the new and tiny baby nestled inside you by yourself.

You also knew that he was leaving to help people, to save lives and help others come home. But it pained you more than you could have ever imagined.

There's so many times I've let you down, so many times, I've played around. I tell you now they don't mean a thing.

As if sensing your thoughts John wrapped his arms around you. "The time will go by fast, I promise my love. It'll only be a few months then I'll be home."

You didn't need to speak to remind him you didn't really know when he would be back. It could be a few months like they said, or it could be longer. Maybe even a year. You didn't know.

Every place I go I'll think of you, every song I sing I'll sing for you. When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring.

The thought made fresh tears prick your eyes. You didn't want to cry. It was hard on John too, leaving his family. You didn't want to make it any harder for him than it needed to be.

But as his phone rang, interrupting your bubble of safety and warmth and love, you couldn't stop the sobs. John made no move to answer, squeezing you tighter and rubbing your back soothingly. You knew the call would come sometime today, you had just hoped it wouldn't be so early.

So kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you'll wait for me. Hold me like you'll never let me go.

You weren't done admiring his laugh, or the way he got excited when discussing the baby, or his strong opinions on baby names. You didn't even know if you were having a boy or a girl yet.

As your sobbing slowed and turned to quiet tears, John pulled away just enough to meet your eyes.

"You know I have to go. I don't want too, but it's time."

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again. Oh, babe, I hate to go.

You nodded, wiping at your eyes with your sleeves. You studied his eyes, letting yourself get lost in them just for a moment. You steadied yourself and gave him a long kiss.

"You have your bags packed, right?"

He nodded.

"Got your extra pair of shoes? And your lucky pair of socks?"

Now the time has come to leave you, one more time let me kiss you. Then close your eyes, I'll be on my way.

He chuckled and nodded. "Yes, I packed everything, dear. I'm all set."

You smiled up at him. "Well don't you let me keep you waiting. We don't need you missing your flight and getting in trouble before you even start training."

"I would train double just to be with you for a little while longer."

Dream about the days to come when I won't have to leave alone. About the times I won't have to say;

You laughed, even as your eyes watered again. "You're so cheesy, John Watson. Now come on, go get your bags and I'll hail you a cab."

John kissed you on the forehead before disappearing back into the bedroom. You walked through your small flat, chest feeling tighter and tighter as you stepped outside and onto the street.

You raised your hand, and just your luck that a car pulled over immediately. Not even the cabs were on your side today.

Kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you'll wait for me. Hold me like you'll never let me go.

John lugged out his packed suitcases, fitting them in the trunk. He slammed it shut then turned to you for the last time.

"I love you more than anything, don't ever forget. I love you and our child more than I've ever loved anything else. And I promise to write every day."

You pulled him in for one last kiss, lingering for as long as possible.

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again. Oh, babe, I hate to go.

"We love you so much, John Watson. Work hard, and come back in time to meet little Watson."

It was Johns turn to cry as he kissed your forehead one last time.

"I will. I love you."

I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again

"I love you too."

And with one last glance back he slid into the cab and shut the door behind him. You wanted to run inside, to sob and burrow back into bed.

But you forced your feet still, standing like a statue and watching as the cab drove out of sight with all of your love in the backseat.

Oh, babe, I hate to go