I take a deep breath, I can feel the sunshine beating down on my face, it keeps me warm as the fall breeze rushes over my body. The wind causes my hair to flow in all different directions around my face, sending a chill down my spine. I slowly begin to open my eyes as the wind begins to pass. My surroundings become known as the backyard of my mom's house. The ran down play set and chipped painted fence gave it away. I look at the clouds that were once taking up my peripheral vision. I then release the breath that I once held, causing my body to mold to the comfort of the grass.
I slowly stand up and decide to head inside since the sun would soon hide behind the clouds. I open the door and the home aroma filled my nose. I took my shoes off and headed towards the calendar to see where my mom was off to. I confirmed today's date as the sixth of October. I looked at the calendar and saw that my mother was working the night shift tonight at the local hospital. There was no surprise there, my mother has been known to always be working. After she found out she was having me she did everything in her power to make sure we were financially stable, even if that meant never even being able to see her daughter.
Don't get me wrong my mother raised me into the person that I am today. She raised me to be the girl that wouldn't have an accidental pregnancy, date a guy that will scram the second you want a serious relationship, or be selfish enough to spend all your time working while your daughter is about to leave the house. I guess I was able to follow all of those rules, except for one. I am twelve weeks pregnant, and thriving, I have never been so happy. The only big problem is that I haven't told my mom or my boyfriend. I'm on the verge of showing so I need to think of a solution, and fast.
After looking at the calendar I took a banana from the counter and took my snack to my room. I picked up my phone that was charging and looked at my notifications. One missed call from Cameron, my boyfriend and Lauren, my best friend. I decided to call Lauren first to see what boy issues she was faced with now.
"Mac, where have you been? I have been trying to get in contact with you for the last hour!" She sounded more overprotective rather then scary, but that wasn't her objective.
"Sorry I fell asleep, what's wrong?"I begin rub my eyes realizing how tired I am now.
"It's Chad, he broke up with me." I sigh realizing how much the name Chad sounds like a complete douche. I roll my eyes then respond to my heartbroken friend.
"Lauren, is there anything I can do? If you want I can go get you ice cream or just spend the night?"
"It's fine Mac, I'm just going to go to bed early and catch up on some sleep?" I can hear the weariness in her voice.
"Are you sure?" I ask hoping she will talk to me about the way she feels.
"Yeah I'm sure, good night Mac." As soon as I heard those words the line clicked dead. I took a deep breath and looked at the text notification I received from Cameron.
'I have work tomorrow evening so I probably won't be able to see you until Saturday. Love you baby girl.'
My heart flutters at his words, but soon make me sick when he says baby. I feel extremely guilty for not being able to tell him that I'm carrying his child. Sometimes I feel so lonely when I'm locked up in this house for nights and nights alone. I wish my house was filled with the singing of my mother, the howl of father as he looks at his own two left dancing feet that are brought to life by my mother singing, or just siblings bickering. I crave noise more than ever now, having to hide this pregnancy makes me just sick. I want to expose myself, but it is too soon.
I unwrap myself from my thoughts and decide the best decision for right now is to probably get some sleep. I eat the banana that I brought from downstairs while I fold my clean laundry. I change into sleep attire before sleep consumes my body. As my eyes shut visions appear in my head
Cameron was standing by my bedside looking at my phone. I was confused because he obviously snuck into my room, but he was going through my phone.
"Cam, what are you doing?" I question looking at the evidence in his hands.
"Mac, why are you texting Harrison?" He looked at me with anger in his eyes. I felt guilty just looking at how tense his body was.
"He's my cousin, he's coming down for Fourth of July." I answer quietly as my voice begins to shake. I watch as he puts the phone down as he nods his head.
"I don't want you talking to other men without telling me first, understand?" I stare at him in bewilderment. All I can do is nod, and before I know it his fist collides with my face.
I wake up feeling out of breath and my body is covered in sweat. It's just a dream I tell myself while rubbing my face. I look at the clock as it reads 8:11 I decide to shower before I head off to my shift at the diner. After I slipped on my uniform I went to my full body mirror. My uniform that once fit like a glove was now tighter than ever in all the wrong places. I looked as if I just ate the whole dinner. I sighed and realized that I couldn't hold back this lie any longer, and that tonight was going to be the night that I told Cameron the truth, it isn't fair to Cameron or myself. I rub my face hoping to take the though away from my mind.
I go downstairs and grab a granola bar as well as a banana. I hop into my car and start the drive to work. I have one hand on the wheel the other holding on to my granola bar. I eat most of my breakfast on the drive to work, but when I pull into my usual spot I remain in my car to finish my banana. I look into the diner and realize how crowded it is for a Friday morning. I shrug it off as I step outside of my car. I walk through the back and grab an apron as I tie it I check in with my boss so she knows I came to my shift. I grab my pen and notebook and start to attend to the crowded tables.
I head up to one table that is filled with elderly women and prepare my notebook. I smile and greet them with the usual
"Hello welcome to Dorothy's! What do you want to drink?" I ask with a polite smile as then begin to name off their drink orders. I walk to the back and prepare their drinks, while I do that I grab a tray and place all of them on a tray. I walk back and deliver their drinks while I give them more time to look at the menu. On my walk back I see Lauren putting her apron on slowly. It looks as if she hasn't slept in years.
"Lauren, how are you doing?" I rub her back trying to comfort her, but she is not having it. She flicks my hand off of her back and mutters back to me.
"Mac, I'm fine really. I just need some space, we can talk later tonight if you want?" I see the desperation in her eyes, and decide maybe it's best if we drop the whole Chad talk. I walk back to my table of elderly woman and take their orders, but always making sure to keep Lauren in my view. I go back behind the counter and enter their orders as I wait for the chefs to do their thing. My other tables begin to fill so that's when it's time to kick it into high gear and get this shift done. All I can think about is that stupid dream I had last night, why would dream Cameron ever hit me?
