I walked through the backyard toward the kitchen entrance of the house. I saw Mrs. Wilson standing at the sink washing some vegetables when he sees me walking through the backyard. A soft smile appears on her face, she drops the vegetables into the sink and runs to open the door, she greets me at the door with a hug, but I make sure to keep a safe distance away from her due to her grandchild growing in me.
"McKenzie, how is your summer going?" Her cheerful personality makes it easy to open up to her. With my mother being gone most of the time it is nice to have a mother figure to talk to or rather just listen to me.
"Very relaxing Mrs. Wilson, did Cameron tell you where he went?" I ask trying not to get into a deep conversation because I was afraid I would slip up and something would be said that should not be said right now.
"He said to meet him in his room. Can you tell him dinner will be done in ten minutes. You will be joining us, right?" She asks as if she hasn't already laid a place mat out for me, but I smile and nod. She then gets back to preparing dinner.
When I walk down the hall I'm greeted with the photos of the Wilson's. There are photos of Cam and his older brother and sister playing in the sand, Mrs. Wilson and Mr. Wilson, and even a section of photos at the end of the children's lovers. I see Cam's older brother with his wife and their baby boy, his older sister with her fiancé, and then there is the photo of Cam and I. It was last summer, the whole Wilson family paid a photographer to update their older photos. Those photographs are my absolute favorite. I have them as my phone background and even a couple hanging in my room. Cam is my everything and I cannot imagine living my life without him.
I walk up the staircase and look at the wall accords from the stairs. The huge family portrait hangs there. Every time I see it, it fills me with joy. I was asked to be in it, which came to me as a huge surprise, but the whole family insisted that I needed to be in it, or it would not be complete. I gave in, and I am so glad I did. I continued to walk up the stairs and walk down the hall that leads to Cam's room. I had been in that room countless times so I find myself over to one of his bean bags and sit in front of his television. I hear the water running so I assume Cam's taking a shower and can finally relax again.
The dream that I had just woken up from resurfaces my memory causing me to cringe back at it. Cam never has hurt me, we aren't perfect and have gotten in a couple fights, but nothing that couldn't be solved in that day. So where are these dreams coming from? Are they from the fear in my conscience because I'm holding onto this big secret that could hurt me just as much as a punch in the face could. How can I be a good mom if I can't even tell the truth to my loved ones? And that's when the waterworks come rushing in.
I am having a baby whether I want to or not. There is a human being growing inside of me, and it is too late to do anything about it. I could never kill a baby so abortion was off of the table from day one. I could never give this baby up to another family because I could not let a part of me just wander and grow with out me. This baby is mine and Cam's and no matter what happens this baby is never going to leave my side. I wipe the tears off of my face with my sleeve. I rub my belly, comforting our little baby who is growing inside of a weepy mother.
That's when I smell what we are having for dinner, brussel sprouts. I can smell the odor all the way from up here causing a wave of nausea to come over me. I run into Cam's bathroom completely ignoring the half naked Cam who is currently shaving. After empty what is left of the food from Dorthy's and flushing it away. I curl up into a ball on the ground hoping there is nothing left to come up. Cam who I assumed was standing at me bewildered was cleaning up the rest of the mess and comforting me. He picked me up gently and placed me back on the bean bag that I was sitting on earlier. He grabs one of his sweatshirt and take my sweatshirt off, I shiver feeling the coldness of Cam's room. He quickly puts his sweatshirt over my body and sits next to me on his ginormous bean bag. I cuddle up to him as he begins to whisper in my ear.
"I'm sorry I left you at the treehouse," He kisses me on the forehead as his hand finds his way to my belly. I cuddle closer into his neck as my arms wrap around his neck
"It's fine, you're here now and that's all that matters." I whisper into his neck. He pulls me closer and we lay there for a couple of minutes until we here Mrs. Wilson yell at us.
"Dinner is ready kids!" I unwrap myself from Cam as we both get up and head downstairs. We pass by the photos that I saw earlier and head to the kitchen sink. We wash our hands and take a seat at the dining room table. I place the napkin from the table on my lap, and we begin to pass the food around the table, making sure to avoid the brussel sprouts. After we had our plates made we had to wait for Mr. Wilson to come out of his office. The food that once smelled unappetizing looked irresistible. I barely could hold it in anymore, but when Mr. Wilson appeared at the entry to the kitchen I was so relieved. We all began to eat and I ate slowly hoping it wouldn't show my huge appetite.
"So what do you kids have planned for tomorrow?" Mr. Wilson asks breaking through my thoughts. I'm not the one who made the plans for tomorrow, so Cam answers his dad.
"After we all get off of work, we are going to meet up at the treehouse and camp out up there." Cam has been wanting to do this since we have been in middle school, but the time was never right, and everyone quickly forgot about it, until Jason remembered and brought it to Cam's attention. After we all finished up eating, Mrs. Wilson cleared our dishes away and Cam and I left to his car.
I put my window down and let the wind blow in my face. The peace floods my body. It reminds me of the time when my mom was still somewhat in my life. She finally wanted to use her days off for something useful so she planned a weekend trip. I was nine at the time, but it is one of my most favorite memories. My mom took us down to a private beach and we were practically the only people on the beach We went swimming, built sandcastles, and had a picnic on the beach. We stayed until the sunset, and then after that she bought us ice cream. After that trip I really thought my mom was going to change after that, but it's pretty obvious what happened.
I put the window up, but continue to look out of the window. Tears begin to spring to my eyes. My whole life I have felt unwanted by my mom, like I was some sort of burden to be alive. I was never paid attention too, and I never want this baby to feel like that. As long as I'm alive I will love this baby. The baby who most of it's family doesn't know is alive. I feel so guilty having to hide it from the Wilsons and my mom even. The Wilsons have been there for me and opened their arms up to me and treated me like family. I should be able to tell my own mom I'm pregnant too. She may not have been there for me, but I believe this baby deserves a shot of being in her life.
Cam parked the car in front of my house. He was silent until he heard me trying to silently cry.
"Baby girl, why are you crying?" He looks over at me with concern taking over his face. I can't hold back my tears any longer from him.
"Do you not feel guilty? Cameron, we are going to be parents very soon and our parents don't even know. I couldn't stand sitting in that dining room today because guilt was eating me up." Cam is trying to wipe my tears off so I don't break eye contact.
"I hate it, I absolutely hate it. I absolutely hate seeing you this stressed out, we are going to tell them." I can tell he is promising by the look in his eyes.
"When Cam?" I ask wanting to prepare myself for what could be the worst or best day of my life.
"The day after tomorrow." I nod and he gives me a quick peck on the lips. I watch him drive away and head inside to my empty house.
