The Heartthrob Won't Leave

Chapter Seven (New Chapters)

"Come on Blake! please!" Stella pleaded. Blake sighed, pulling her hand up, wishing for it to be over. Blake could never say no to anyone, she was a person that strived to do things not to make herself happy, but to make others happy, and if this is what would make Stella happy, she didn't have much of a choice in the matter. Besides, Blake knew she'd never be picked anyway. What real risk was there that Blake wasn't already mentally prepared for? Blake noticed Miklayla's questioning look, but she just sighed, turning her head back to the front where the teacher stood.

"Everyone who has their hand up, please come to the front" Blake inwardly cursed, forcing herself to defy gravity and get up from the floor. She stood with her back against the whiteboard, trying to ignore the eyes of the other students that she felt were staring right at her. But, a sudden soft feeling had her glancing up, her eyes closing on the orbs of another sitting near the back, with the other boys, his blonde hair slightly in the way of his sight. But, the scariest part of the moment wasn't that he was staring in her general direction. No, it was the fact that those bright grey, mesmerizing eyes were staring right at her. Her chest constricted at the sight of them, making her hand come up quickly, grabbing onto the loose fabric of her hoodie for some sort of unattainable comfort.

After writing on the board the names of the four people standing up front, Mrs. Jame turned to the rest of the class. "We will do a vote, and the person with the most votes will become our director for the play" she claimed. "You can vote more than once" And so, the charade started at the far end, with Blake watching as the others placed up their hands and a number was written on the board next to a name. The first guy, Bruce, had ten votes, with the girl, Tanya, having thirteen.

"And now we have Stella!" Mrs. Jame claimed, standing next to the girl "Who wants Stella to be our director?" Blake didn't even have to look up to know if she did, she would see a wave of raised hands. Mikayla was still sitting there, her hands securely in her lap, glancing at the other students with their hands up before rolling her eyes in annoyance.

"Goodness, that's three people away from everyone!" Mrs. Jame claimed and all Blake could see was Stella's smiling face. Of course, Blake was happy for Stella, what kind of friend would she be if she wasn't happy about her friend's success? But, deep down inside, her secret emerged, the intense feeling of loneliness that was ever consuming that she would never tell another soul existed. Because despite how much she didn't want to get picked as director, she also did want to, with everything in her being she wanted to be picked. She wanted everyone to like her, she wanted friends everywhere that would smile and laugh with her as much as she wanted to try her very hardest to push everyone away as far as they could. Because if there was anything she had learned in her life, is that good things have to come to an end, eventually. And sometimes the good part isn't worth all the suffering one has when the goodness is ripped away.

"And now, last but not least. Who wants Blake to be director of the play?" Blake watched as Mikayla's hand shot up, along with Janet and Janes. She smiled slightly at the sight of Mikayla's happy face, using her free hand to give Blake a thumbs up in encouragement. Sometimes, her friends just truly warmed her heart. But, a little movement from the corner of her eye had her pausing from her eye contact with her friends, making her look up slightly. Further back in the group, a hand rose, and for a single moment, Blake felt the entire room freeze. Everyone on the ground seemed to notice, turning back and murmuring in shock. Lucian?! She couldn't look away from his amused-looking face. He glanced around him at the eyes on him.

"What?" he asked them "Something on my face?" he asked, wiping his cheek with his free hand and looking down at his palm. "Nope, nothing" And just like that, Blake noticed other hands starting to rise. First, it was the drama girls, who she suspected probably thought they'd get on Lucian's good side if they voted for her too. It wasn't long before every female sitting on the floor had their hand up, pining for his attention she assumed. Then the few boys followed along. She was still in shock though, even though Blake knew the votes weren't actually because her classmates liked her, she was still in disbelief at the sight of all those hands. And the one that had made it all happen, still sitting at the back, looking right at her, pushing his hair back with his free hand and giving the slight of a smirk.

"You guys spoke!" Mrs. Jame wrote the number on the board under Blake's name "let me introduce you're director, Blake!" her eyes widened at the name, turning around quickly to look at the board. She stared at the names next to each other, Blake and Stella, and under Stella, a 28, and under her own name. A 29. I beat Stella by one person. She couldn't believe it. She turned, looking at Stella's unnerved face. Over the years, she knew that look well. When Stella was angry and trying to hide it. But, it was the first time that something Blake had done had made her look like that. She felt bad, knowing well enough what it was like to lose, to feel like you lost.

"I'm sorry Stella" Stella's eyes were on her the moment she said those words, and with tight lips, she responded

"I'm happy for you" but, before Blake could respond she was quick to walk away and join the boys at the back of the room, and all Blake could do was watch her go.

"Well, now that our director has been picked, it's her job to choose the rest of the roles the class will be playing!" Blake's eyes widened, grabbing the paper shoved between her fingers from Mrs. Jame. She glanced quickly across the ink, realizing it was a list of jobs and a space to place a name for each one. She shut her eyes tightly, listening to the click of Mrs. Jame's high heels fade, dreading looking up at the crowd, knowing that she was now on her own, standing at the front of the room with all eyes on her. Blake, you have to calm down. You have to relax. You're normal, remember that, you have to be normal

And with that in mind, she took in a deep breath, lifting her head to see the sort of scene she had nightmares about. Everyone's judgemental and prying eyes. Her heart was beating so fast that Blake thought she might suffer from early heart failure, her hands tight, wrinkling the paper between them to try and let loose some of her anxiety. It was moments like this when she truly wondered why she wasn't normal, what did she do to deserve this?

"Thank you!" she blurted suddenly, placing her hand over her mouth. Some of the kids raised their eyebrows at her sudden outburst. She took another deep breath, pulling her hand away "For picking me, thank you for picking me-" she sighed "I promise to try my best" she cleared her throat slightly, glancing down at the paper in a sweat.

"We need someone to um-work the lights" a hand went up and Blake let out a breath of relief, writing down the name of her classmate "Ok, and is anyone good with computers?" the class continued, and Blake took it in strides. But, her anxiety never waivered, as she was a person prone to screw up everything she touched. The only achievement she had was the power of destruction, and she would never let her guard wavier in order to let its disgusting face sneak under her barriers.