The Heartthrob Won't Leave

Chapter Ten (New Chapters)

So, she moved around her desk and towards him, the other students seemed in their own state of shock, watching the exchange of the paper. She held it in her hands softly, trying not to damage it. She stood at the front of the classroom, all eyes on her, holding someone else's poetry between her fingers. The more she stared at the sheet, the more wrinkles she noticed, the rips around the margins, how smuggled the paper was, as if the person writing on it had such sweaty hands. And, scanning the words was another reality. It was the same handwriting the note for the gum had. She glanced up slightly from the sheet, looking at him, intensely chewing on that pencil again, leaning back in his chair, staring right at her. She let out a heavy sigh, clearing her throat slightly, hands tightening on the sheet.

"The Flicker, by Lucian Black" she read aloud, glancing back up at the students staring at her one more time and taking one more deep breath to try and calm herself.

"The bruises invisible, the scratches unseen, the world can't sight them, no one else but me-" her breath caught in her throat for a moment, glancing at him from the corner of her eye before they fell back down to the page. "You stand strong, a warrior it seems, but no one knows the battle like you, they can't hear your screams" another deep breath "The dark settles in and the world leaves, but you stay stranded, beaten down to your knees-" It seemed so personal, so heart-wrenching. These words were Lucian's thoughts, his mind, and for some reason, he had forced her to read them, as if he was revealing his innermost demons to her.

It was as if the other students just disappeared, she couldn't feel any other presence but his own, and it was blinding. "But, here I am. Can't you see? The world isn't as dark as you believe it to be. I see the flicker, the light to our eternal. We can go there together, if you'll-" she stopped short, reading the last four words of the sentence that sent a shock right to her heart "be with me forever" And suddenly, just at that moment, she was thrown right back into reality. She was standing in that classroom again, eyes on her from everyone in the room. But, his were by far the most intense. The others started looking back at Lucian, seeming shocked by the words he had written, the ones she had just read. This poem, it was clear that it was meant for someone, someone he cared deeply about. But, who was it? In a way, she felt horrible, it was as if she had violated Lucian by reading such words, let alone out loud to the rest of the class.

"Lucian-" she covered her mouth with her hand, almost feeling like she was going to cry "I'm so sorry" his eyes widened slightly, almost in confusion at her words "I'm so sorry I read that, it was so personal" his confusion suddenly morphed into a sight of realization. She could feel a tear running down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly, dropping the paper from her fingers and it

fell to the floor.

"I'm so sorry, I have to go," She said quickly, hurrying to her desk, grabbing her things, pulling her backpack over her back, and hurrying out the door. She made a quick walk pace down the halls, wiping away more tears from her hot cheeks.

"Wait!" his voice echoing down the hall had her pausing midstep, turning slightly to look over her shoulder and watching as he hurried down the hall towards her, running his hand through his dark hair. She just watched him, surprised at the sight of him. She still couldn't believe he was there when he caught up with her, stopped just inches from where she stood. He was so tall, compared to her, he had over a foot and a half on her. "God Blake, you're a true enigma" Her eyes widened slightly at his words.

"I don't understand" she claimed, backing up a step from him, which he had clearly noticed. And to her shock, he took a step forward, blocking the gap she had just created. "You seriously don't see what I was trying to do up there?!" he asked, almost in disbelief. "Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting to do that?!" she couldn't believe how loud he was suddenly. She had always known Lucian as a calm person with a soft, almost brooding voice that he never raised. His voice, he almost sounded excited, it was interesting seeing a new side of Lucian Black.

"What were you trying to accomplish?" she asked. She was startled when he grabbed her shoulders with his hands, his grip tight on her skin.

"Blake, that poem was a confession!" he claimed, shaking her slightly by his grip on her shoulders. Suddenly, the pieces in her mind clicked into place, it was a confession. He intended for her to read it to someone else in the class. Unless, was it a confession to...me? That thought immediately left her mind, after all, it was impossible. No one would ever feel that strongly about her. In fact, remembering the words that he wrote, she kind of felt a little jealous. She wished someone had felt that way about her, but that would never be possible. It wasn't that she wasn't willing to accept the reality of someone liking her that way, it was that she psychologically couldn't in fear of what it would do to her mind if she was wrong.

"You should have said so" she claimed, and he smiled softly "You should have told me a name, I could have dedicated it to them" and suddenly, his smile fell, and that same look of confusion covered his features.

"Wait...what?" he asked, his eyebrow raising.

"I mean, how is the girl supposed to know it was a confession if you don't tell her so?" she asked

"You have to go back in that classroom and explain yourself to the person you want to confess to" she claimed. He just stared at her for a few silent moments between them, a face of disbelief.

"I thought I just did" he claimed

"No silly, you have to actually tell the girl if you like them, you can't just expect them to know when the confession is for them"

"Even when the girl is literally reading the paper herself?!" he asked incredulously.

"I see, that was your goal. I understand" she claimed, pulling from his hold on her shoulders

"Then you should have gotten her to read it, not me. You're strange Lucian" She hiked her backpack straps higher, holding them with her fists "I'll see you tomorrow in class Lucian-" she turned "And good luck expressing your feelings, she's one lucky girl" She smiled softly, moving at a calm pace down the hall, away from him. He was just standing there for a few moments, watching her go.

She truly hadn't understood that the confession had been for her. It baffled his mind, how could she be so absolutely clueless about other people's feelings. He had written that poem the first day of class, the first day he had seen her. The first class had been in history, where he watched as she sat all by herself, didn't say a word, and did what was told.

In the third period, he had noticed how she glanced at the other students, her hands shaking uncontrollably as if she was about to burst with panic seemingly unprovoked. How sad she looked, twiddling her thumbs as if she wanted to talk to them, but she just couldn't. And he didn't talk to her either, he admitted he had been nervous, she just looked so fragile, he didn't want to hurt her without knowing it. And, for the following months he had watched her with the few friends she had, trying to control herself, he even caught glimpses of her crying a few times.

He was just so drawn to her, in a way not even he could understand. He suspected it was because of his instinctual need to protect those who were weaker than him. And sometimes, watching her cry, it also reminded him of his mother when he was younger, after his father had left them and never came back. He was protective of her, possessive of her, and he knew how she felt about Zac, it was very clear by the way she acted around him. And so badly did he want to beat the absolute shit out of that guy. Well, if his first attempt hadn't worked, he had to think of something else, and the further away she got the less time he had.

"Go out with me!" he called down the hall, watching her stop. She turned her head to look at him. "We could go to lunch, a movie, anything you want! Just go out with me, you owe me that" she raised an eyebrow, wondering what he meant by 'owing' him it. But, she suspected she'd never actually get a straight answer to that question.

"But, spending time with me won't show the girl who you like your feelings, you have to spend time with her" she claimed in that small innocent voice of hers that sent shocks up his spine. Then, she turned and left, heading the corner and out of sight. He was so focused on her beauty to realize what she had said, her words hadn't sunk in until after she had already left. They played over in his head and the reality of the situation. The only words he could speak.

"You have got to be kidding me"