Second Chances

Chapter 14

Beth had been in the hospital for a week. It broke Rachel to see Quinn hurting so much, but it was worse when she saw Quinn hold Beth as if she was going to lose her. For one night, Rachel just wanted Quinn to be happy and forget. So they arranged to have Santana and Brittany watch Beth for one night while Rachel took Quinn out.
It took a lot of convincing. At first Quinn refused to leave Beth's side at all. But then Rachel reminded her that seeing Quinn this broken would just scare Beth. So Quinn agreed to one, and only one night out.
Rachel took Quinn to her favorite karaoke bar in Manhattan, which after Quinns third drink, she realized was a mistake. When Quinn was on her sixth, Rachel cut her off. They sat in booth, and Quinn had somehow ended up sitting next to Rachel with her head rested on her shoulder.
In high school Quinn had been labeled as the angry drunk. That really wasn't true at all. Quinn was just angry in general, because her life had been falling apart. She never talked to anyone about what was going on at the time, but Rachel knew something was wrong. So whenever she got drunk, she took out her anger on whoever was there. Because the next day she could blame it on the alcohol, fake a smile, and tell everyone she was fine.
But right now Quinn wasn't an angry drunk. She just seemed to talk about everything. First it was Rachel's hair, and how pretty it was. Then she spent a solid twenty minutes rambling about how lesbian couples are cuter than straight ones, and that gay people should have their own parade because they are so amazing. Then Rachel told her about pride (which sober Quinn knew all about) and Quinn started crying. First because she was happy, then because she was upset about spending all those years hating herself for being gay. And after a while she started talking about Rachel again.
"You're just like... just kinda... ya know?" Quinn slurred.
Rachel nodded and sighed. She wasn't sure why Quinn was talking about her, but it was better than Quinn crying about what she had been calling the 'rainbow parade'.
"I should have fucked you in high school instead of Puck," Quinn said lazily. "I loved you more then him. And you were hotter."
As much as Rachel wanted to believe what Quinn was saying, she knew Quinn probably had no idea what she was talking about.
"Well now I'm your girlfriend, so it all worked out," Rachel said with a fake smile.
Quinn clearly wasn't listening, or she was and just didn't care. "And stupid Puck gave me Beth."
"Quinn you love Beth."
Quinn whined and squirmed in her seat. "Yeah but all of this is his fault."
"What's his fault?" Rachel asked.
Quinns eyelids drooped and Rachel knew she would have to find a cab to take them home before Quinn fell asleep.
Quinn yawned. "Because stupid Puck got me pregnant because I slept with him. And the... now the... the... now Beth got... now." Quinn stopped.
Rachel knew she was too drunk to be aware of what she was saying, but she was still aware of what she was going to have to face when she sobered up. The reality where Beth was still sick.

The next morning Quinn woke up with the worst hangover she'd ever had. She didn't even have to open her eyes for her head to start throbbing. And when she opened her eyes, it all got much worse.
"Quinn, here have some water," Rachel whispered, so she wouldn't make her headache any worse.
"Stop yelling," Quinn groaned.
"Just sit up and drink some water. You're super dehydrated, this'll help," Rachel said quietly.
Quinn sat up and brought her hand to her head as the throbbing feeling intensified. Her face scrunched up in pain as she reached for the cup of water and took a sip.     Rachel pulled up a chair and sat next to her.
"How are you feeling?" She asked.
"Like I got hit by a truck," She said and winched as she put the cup down on the coffee table. "Why am I on the couch?"
Rachel smiled at the memory. "Because I was trying to help you walk to the bedroom but you fell asleep. Standing up," she said and laughed.
Quinn smiled a little bit. "I wasn't that drunk. Was I?"
Rachel nodded with a grin. "You cried twice. Once because I told you about the pride parade. Then again as we were leaving you tried to ask me out and I said I had a girlfriend and you cried again. You didn't stop until I told you that you're my girlfriend," Rachel said and shook her head.
Quinn hid her face in her hands. "Oh God, that's so embarrassing."
Rachel shrugged. "I've done worse."
"Like what?"
Rachel proceeded to tell Quinn about the time she made out with Blaine at a party, and convinced herself that they were in love. Despite both of them being gay. It seemed as though Quinn didn't remember most of the events from the night before. She decided it would be best not to tell her about how she had brought up Puck.
After Quinn woke up fully and put on a pair of ear plugs and sunglasses, Rachel drove her down to the hospital to see Beth.
    Beth squeezed Quinns hand as Dr. Rolland poked a new IV into her arm. As soon as the IV was in, he picked up her clipboard and started asking questions.
    "As you know, Beths tumor was dangerously close to her kidney. Over the course of the week, despite the medication she's been on, it has spread to her kidney, which we have diagnosed as Renal cancer. If left untreated, it will most likely spread to her lungs. After that, it can spread to her nodes, bones, liver, brain and skin. But we're going to try and prevent all of this." Dr. Rolland stated, as if none of this information phased him.
    "How are you going to prevent it?" Quinn asked nervously. She didn't want Beth's body to become weak and broken after countless surgeries and therapies.
    "We would start with a nephrectomy or partial nephrectomy surgery. Then radiation therapy. Although kidney cancers in children are rare, they are often very treatable and curable," he explained, using large words that Quinn didn't understand. But nothing google couldn't answer for her.
    "So she's going to be okay?" Quinn asked hopefully.
    "We don't want to jump to any conclusions yet, but with the right treatment she will be." He said and smiled.
    Quinn turned back to Beth, and gave her hand a squeeze. Beth looked up at her and grinned. She had absolutely no idea what the doctor was talking about, but she didn't seem scared which Quinn was grateful for.
    Dr. Rolland and Rachel eventually left to let Quinn spend some time with Beth.
    "Am I going to get you sick?" Beth asked randomly.
         "No," Quinn answered.
      Beth thought about it. "But last year when I had the flu, grandma couldn't watch me because I was germy."
      Quinn signed. Beth was so young and innocent, she had no idea what was happening to her. She didn't deserve this. No one did.
      "You're a different type of sick now. Do you remember when you had the flu? You had a fever and it only lasted for three days then you were all better." Quinn began.
      "What kind of sick am I now?"
      Quinn wasn't sure how to explain this to her daughter. She knew she would have to do it without crying, because that would only scare Beth, but that didn't seem to hard. Because Quinn didn't have any tears left to cry. Now she had to be strong, for Beth.
      "See right here?" Quinn pressed her hand gently against where Beth's kidney was located.
      "That's your kidney." She took a deep breath. "You've got these little tiny things in your body called cells. Sometimes cells make more cells and grow very quickly. Then they all clump together. That's what happened, right here." She said and gave her stomach a little poke.
      "Are my cells making me sick?" Beth asked.
      "Normally cells are good, they keep you and me alive. But right now you have to many and they're all in one place. Do you know what that's called?"
     Beth shook her head.
     "That's what's called a tumor. And it can be very dangerous. But you don't have to worry," Quinn started.
     Beth's eyes were already wide.
     "It's going to be okay, because you're with some really smart doctors that are going to help you get better." Quinn added and rubbed Beth's arm reassuringly.
     Beth nodded and processed the information. "What about when we go home?" She asked.
     Quinn hadn't even thought about what would happen when she went back to New Haven. Before Beth got sick, she'd thought about what it meant for her relationship with Rachel. She hadn't thought about what it had meant for Beth, because she'd been so focused on keeping her as healthy as possible since she got sick. Now she wasn't sure what she would do. Of course, the hospitals in New York were more trustworthy and more dependable, but they were also a lot more expensive. Only time could tell how many surgeries and different types of therapies Beth would need.