Mushaboom • Daryl Dixon

15

Daryl

I just kept on breathing. I didn't feel like I had it in me to want to keep going. But I was still here. Still breathing. After all of it. And I felt nothing but this heaviness in my chest. It ran down my arms, my legs, and back up to my head. I felt it in my feet. It almost hurt to move, to do anything. I kept my head down, and stared at my boots. There was dried blood and mud on them. There was no way of knowing who's blood it was. Or where the mud came from.

I thought back to when we first got to the farm. Who I was, who I had already lost. Then there was Hershel and his family. Maggie was all that was left. And we lost so many others long the way. I couldn't help but wonder who was next. And that really fucked with my head. I hoped it was me. I couldn't understand why it hadn't been me, or anyone else that was here. All these people- good people, just gone. Beth was good. Hershel was good. The Kids. Sofia. Everyone back at the prison.

I wasn't one to believe in fate or nothing, but after finding everyone back at terminus, and running into Rachel and Ricky, how could I not? Fate had to be real. Everything brought us to who we're with, and where we were today. And part of that was real twisted. Fate really took its claim on good people, it was always gonna lead to this. I was always gonna lose them. I was always gonna find them again, just to lose them.

My head was spinning.

I didn't have no clue how long I was staring at my boots. The whole drive had been silent. But eventually the truck came to a slow stop. I heard Rick's voice soon after. It was tired, but soft, "Maggie.. This place is nice."

I looked up and saw we were surrounded by trees, but past the tree line was a clearing. It was. I dragged my attention to Maggie. She looked around with hesitation. Her eyes had hardly any life in them, everything about her was heavy. She looked down to her hands.

Glenn gently ran his hand through her hair, "Maggie?"

She didn't look up again. She only nodded.

Glenn looked up and nodded once to Rick. They both looked completely lost, but they were doing what they could. Glenn glanced my way, but I let my head hang back down. I wondered if I could've done something different. Something that could've kept her alive. But every choice I made was to try to keep her safe. I didn't know what I did wrong. Why nothing could ever work.

Everyone knew why we stopped. They all made their way off the truck in their own time. Rick and Michonne were the first ones to go.

I wasn't even sure if I was able to get on my feet. I ended up staring at my boots again, until I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Brother, we're going to move her. I think you should help."

I looked up at Rick, he had knelt down and he watched me carefully. What he said processed slowly, but once it set in, I nodded.

He squeezed my should before offering his hand. I took it and forced myself to my feet. If this was the last thing I could do for her, I was gonna take it.

I followed Rick to the back of the truck. Glenn was standing next to Maggie. I looked up and saw Ty and Noah waiting for us up on top. Rick stepped up, to the back, acting as a median. He spoke out to Ty softly, "If you guys can- uh, if you can lift her and i'll give her to Daryl."

None of it felt real. His words. Seeing her body being handed down. Maggie started crying again but it all sounded so far away. My head was gone, but my body took care of it. My arms reached out, my feet planted themselves steady and all the sudden, I felt her weight in my arms. All her warmth was gone, and her body wasn't as limp anymore. I tried to push any thoughts away, but was failing.. She was just gone.