Snow on the Roads (adopted by twenty one pilots SEQUEL)

//five - my only retreat//

Lane's POV

I woke up with heavy eyes and my body feeling like I was dropped off the edge of the world. It happened whenever I was stressed or couldn't sleep well. I stayed up all night thinking about Brendon's facetime. I felt guilty, but also, I wasn't some kid. I was nearly an adult and I was able to decide how my life was going to play out. I showered quickly, trying to ignore the fading desires that littered my stomach and thighs still, before throwing light face makeup on and putting my hair into a messy bun. I pulled on black leggings and an oversized Pierce the Veil hoodie that went over my knuckles and fell to mid thigh. Kellin let me keep it after I got cold in Reading and he found it in their bus. It was comforting and after another sleepless night, I didn't care about appearances. 

I made my way downstairs, again tossing my bag by the doorway and placing myself comfortably at the breakfast counter. Someone's hand brushed over my shoulder before they walked around the counter and opened the fridge. "Hey Dad." He smiled at me and tossed me a water bottle before grabbing one for himself. He carried his ukulele with him, obviously having another spark of inspiration early this morning and spending however much time adding onto it. "Can I hear it?" I whispered, looking from the instrument to him with a small smirk playing at my lips. He chuckled lightly before nodding and picking it up, plucking the strings without a second thought and releasing a new and amazing sound I had never heard. 

"It's beautiful, you'll make a great track with that." I saw him grin to himself before meeting my eyes. "Really think so?" I nodded happily as he breathed a sigh of relief and set the instrument back down. "Ready for day two?" he asked cautiously from the brim of his coffee mug. Internally I groaned at the thought of going back, but I let myself fake a smile. "Yea, it'll be okay." He set the mug down and hugged my shoulders, kissing the top of my head before Andrew knocked and let himself in. I couldn't even bring myself to stand up and greet him, but the last of my energy was put into turning myself around and smiling at him. He kissed me gently before greeting Tyler then leading me to the car. 

I sat and nodded quietly to his small talk as we waited for English to start. Soon enough, the teacher came in and told us to write something about our summer and what we spent our time doing. I played Pierce the Veil, finding something comforting in the dismal lyrics and high energy beats. The irony of music always got me. In a matter of minutes, I had sprawled out my summer of touring and learning music, of course leaving out the negatives I'd experienced. We had the rest of class to write so I spent my remaining thirty minutes filling out the statistics work that we'd do in class today and staring at the window, watching the world pass by just out of reach through the glass panes. I jumped when the bell rung, making Andrew reach over and place his hand over mine. I smiled and rubbed my thumb over the back of his hand before handing in my paper and walking to math with Drew. That class was spent in a much similar manner, except adding in a couple pieces of help I gave my boyfriend who always struggled with probability. By the time that class ended, I suddenly realized I had to see that girl again. 

"Practice room?" Drew asked me, tracing my gaze towards Lex and Grayson in the corner, her glare evident from miles away. I nodded graciously as Drew checked us into class and I made my way to the sectioned off rooms. "Did Tyler talk to you?" he asked when he came in and sat next to me. I nodded hesitantly. "Thanks for telling him. But, now he's worried everyone. Brendon facetimed me last night." I saw him drop his head from the corner of my eye as he carefully took my hand in his. "Should we be worried?"

I froze at the question, trying to brush it off quickly by looking over at him. "No, Drew. No. I'm going to be fine. It's just a rough patch." He nodded, kissing the back of my hand before letting it go and playing random snippets of songs on the piano. I joined him and the minutes flew by with us laughing and being the people we were months ago, always smiling and joking and valuing just being together. I knew it wasn't him that changed, it was me. But, I couldn't help this change. I felt controlled. I strolled my way through the halls on the way to graphic design when a hand grabbed my shoulder. 

I instinctively turned around and backed away before seeing Lex's face. I let myself relax a little bit but not completely. "Still showing your face here? I thought you'd give up and lock yourself away again after yesterday." I scoffed, feeling anger rush through my veins instantly. "Well, my face is here and on it's way to class." I turned back and continued on my way. "God, the number of people that wish you would just disappear." I stopped in my tracks but willed myself to take another shaky step forward. I couldn't let her win, or at least let her know she did. I sketched all through design again, starting to get some basic outlines into the computer before having to go to painting. Grayson and I just chatted lightly through the class, making it pass surprisingly quick. Soon enough, I was outside of my house, pecking Andrew's cheek and telling him I'd see him tomorrow and putting on the same face I had when he left me after music study. No one needed to know what Lex said, it wasn't a big deal. 

I walked into the house and flung myself on the couch, earning a laugh from Jenna in the kitchen. "Long day?" she said, still trying to not laugh. I chuckled and nodded before talking with her a little and eventually making my way up to my room. I finished any assignments I had fast before putting in headphones and letting myself fall asleep after two nights of pure tossing and turning. I think I heard someone open my door at some point, but I'm assuming they just let me sleep because no one woke me up. The last thing I really remember is the beginning notes of 'Hell Above' play before sleep overtook me completely. 

a/n: hopefully this isn't shit. stay alive guys |-/