The Emperor's Obsession

Chapter Thirty || Plan Gone Wrong

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To say she was terrified would be an understatement.
The fear travelled in Lihua's veins but never made it to her facial muscles. The corners of her lips moved upwards in a nervous, forced smile, her eyes as steady as if she were shopping for shoes. The reason her smile remained on her face was because if she chose to open her mouth, nothing but words that make no sense would come out. She wasn't even sure if she was going to be able to speak properly. All she knew was that if she didn't get out now, she was going to regret it. But she made it this far, and it was too late to back away now. Too late to change her mind and re-think her plan.
She felt her once straightened hair tumble down her back in its natural light waves, her scalp relaxing. His whispered words tickled her ear and his warm breath sent a cold chill through her body. Oh so you like it down? I'll make sure to keep it tied. She wanted to say, but held her tongue and remained wordless. But when his hand started loosening the sash belt of her hanfu, the silk fabric modestly covering her front slowly moving apart and revealing her collarbone, she gasped and immediately shoved him away, before hastily fixing her dress. Or tried to fix it, at least.
Her hands were shaking uncontrollably, and her legs trembled. She mentally cursed herself and the stupid plan. Who did she even think she was? One of those smart, intelligent scholars? This was one of the most idiotic things she's ever done, and she regretted it so much. She regretted getting involved in all of this. That Meili woman was none of her business. The emperor nor his past were any of her business. He killed his lover, and then he lied to Lihua and said that he didn't, end of story. There was nothing more to it. No hidden secrets, nothing. She didn't want to care anymore about things that didn't concern her. All she truly wanted was to have a quiet life here in the palace.
She heard the emperor sigh, and before she knew it, he'd grabbed her arm and threw her on the bed. A yelp of surprise escaped her mouth, and the moment she landed on the satin sheets, she quickly tried to crawl away. But then she felt his hand wrap around her ankle and yank her back, and in a second, his face was right in front of hers, his body on top of hers and his arms at each side of her head. The cold glare he sent her made her swallow in fear.
"I am not a fool, wife. What are you trying to do?"
"We should.. drink the wine." She chuckled nervously.
The cold expression on his face turned to an irritated one, and he suddenly leaned in, his lips almost brushing against hers. "If you don't tell me.." She stopped breathing when his fingers slowly pulled the hanfu's fabric off her shoulder, allowing it to drop all the way to her arm, exposing the beautiful pale skin he longed to touch.
Lihua gasped and tried to cover her shoulder and collarbone, but he grabbed her wrists. "Th-The wine will go bad.." It was a stupid thing to say. Wine doesn't go bad and she knew it. But it was the first thing that came to mind.
Emperor Hyeon growled and got off her. He stood up and ran his hand through his hair, a scowl on his face.
"Leave." He ordered.
She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Surprised that he didn't touch her or do anything, she hesitantly sat up, before fixing her hanfu. "Your Majesty.." She began, but didn't know what to say next. His broad back faced her. For some reason, he didn't turn around to look at her.
"For fuck's sake, go."
That was the breaking point of her patience. At that moment, she wanted to beat the hell out of him. She never liked violence, and preferred fighting with words, but right now it was like she was blinded by anger. She's never wanted to punch someone as much as she wanted to punch him. "Will you look at me, for God's sake?" She snapped, moving so she was in front of him. "Why are you like this?"
He didn't reply.

"Why do you keep shutting others out? Why do you keep pushing others away?"
"Stop."
"No, I won't stop! Why won't you let me in? I'm trying to help you here! Why can't you understand—"
"I said stop!" He shouted, looking like he was ready to hit her. His fists clenched and he gritted his teeth, fighting back the urge to hurt her.
"I know you hate me, Your Majesty, but I truly wish to help you. I'm doing this for the Empire. So the people can live in peace. Please understand.."
He suddenly grabbed her arm, yanked her close, and growled, "you say one more fucking word, I swear to the Gods, you will regret it." His grip was too tight. He was hurting her, but she didn't say anything.
She was getting tired of this.
So she walked away.

She pulled her arm away, and coldly walked past him, her shoulder brushing against his. She didn't even spare him a glance. She opened the door, stepped out, and slammed it shut behind her.
The emperor just stood there, his head hanging low. He was used to feeling lonely, and being alone. This loneliness was a vice on his heart, squeezing with just enough pressure to be a constant pain. It killed him every day just a little bit more, taking what was once his inner light and replacing it with a darkness that overshadows each moment. It was the fuel to his nightmares.
But when she walked away like that, the pain of being alone was indescribable.
She left.
She gave up on him, just like everybody else.
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