i. MEDICINE harry styles [ON HOLD]

... preface;

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WELCOME TO THE FINAL SHOW: Reflecting on the Harry Styles concert that broke the world's heart.

by harrystylesfan1

[ excerpt ]

The lights shriek before snapping into half lit darkness. It feels like the end. Harry, with every last breath (literally, we saw someone give him an inhaler) bounced through three screaming rounds of Kiwi.
We've seen Harry excited, but this isn't excitement, this is raw, manic emotion. The whole night has been out of sorts, despite it having ran almost perfectly (save an oddly moving blood nose—but more on that later). Everyone in the audience is waiting. We saw the displays outside, everyone in the audience knows the events of last night.

We wonder, is this it? Will Harry, as private as ever, finish his show without a word spoken on the matter? It's his right, certainly, but we know that won't be the case.

As soon as he finished Kiwi, we knew.

The crowd excitement is quick to die down, and the whispers start.
The show couldn't be over, because he had yet to play Sign of the Times.
A girl next to me is decorated head to toe in pride wear. After a moment of semi-darkness and silence, she begins to weep. She is comforted by the strangers around her. No one knows how she has been affected by the events of last night, and no one needs to. We do as Harry would want. We choose and give love.

The pit becomes an array of hugs. Flags are are waved as if moving to the beat of an absent song.

We see Harry's shadow move. He's picking things up, moving them about. The crowd hushes as his figure stills in the centre of the stage.
The lights begin to brighten.

There is no applause when he comes into view. The silence is surreal. It's a moments silence, we've all agreed to it unknowingly.

His face is projected onto the screen. We look to him, but he doesn't look back. His eyes are set on the upper seats, and despite the size of the arena, it is obvious he is looking at one person in particular.

At this moment, we realise that we are witnessing something very personal.

I feel it then. The pain of something I have no idea of. A boy behind me senses my pain, and wraps a flag around my shoulders.

I see Harry's eyes, fighting and rimmed red.

I feel it then. The pain.

And I too begin to feel heavy tears gathering in my eyes.

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