i. MEDICINE harry styles [ON HOLD]

i. "i saw this angel"

an introduction

supposedly, adrian ingham was a simple guy, who lived a simple life.

he was twenty-one years old—born on the fifth of july 1996, specifically. he grew up in london, and once upon a time, was the united kingdom's most promising ballet prodigy. when he was sixteen, he came out as bisexual, and moved from his family home in new malden to a downtown apartment with his then-not-so-famous-now-fairly-famous childhood best friend, oliver thornton, better known as years & years front man, olly alexander.

that was his story, the whole of it. that's what his famous birthdays page said, anyway.

adrian wouldn't consider himself famous. an influencer, maybe, but nothing more. he used to be famous in the ballet world, but that was years ago, and the community had lost interest now. he had, as of january third, 2018, exactly 76,987 instagram followers, a stable figure that rarely changed. many of these followers were acquired once he was gifted 'model status'. he was scouted in 2017, on the set of a years & years music video. he had choreographed the video, as he had done with the majority of the band's visual content. perhaps it's worth noting he also choreographed videos that belonged to many famous artists. anonymously.

he never predicted a career in modelling was a possibility for him. from ages eight to seventeen, a future in dancing was so set in stone, he needn't think about anything else.
he had a look to him, his agent said. he was pretty, but also bland. of basic beauty, but also of that kind of unique aesthetic fit for runway. as long as his feet were covered (always bruised and callused from dancing) and the dozens of scars that cut him head to toe were caked with foundation, he had a shot. or at least he hoped he did.

calvin klein picked him up mid-year. he wasn't much to them, but they were everything to him. he had one photoshoot under their supervision, which was used among hundreds of others for the #mycalvins campaign—his slogan: "I am an angel in #mycalvins." the pay was shit, but enough to be able to manage the rent of his studio apartment in bloomsbury, where he had lived alone for the past few years. he began growing restless in this job towards autumn, and as if sensed by the casting agents, was 'promoted' in november. calvin klein wanted to do a mini-campaign, and desired adrian, a fresh and unknown face, to front it. it sounded amazing, and for a little while, it was. however, once adrian sat down with the campaign managers, feelings of unease began to spread.

the campaign was to focus on gender-bending and queer fashion. in writing, this sounded great—progressive and amazing, even. but adrian barely had to read the feel of the room to know it was simply an effort to make money off of under-represented and vulnerable queer youth.

adrian thought he could just politely say he changed his mind and back out, but unbeknownst to him, the contract that held him in place for his previous campaign, also held him in this one. breaking the contract on his behalf would cause a hefty fine that he couldn't afford.

when the time of shoot came around, adrian hoped it would be over with quickly, and that the campaign would find itself buried in media frenzy, known to few. adrian needn't worry, though, for a number of reasons. he found the shoot quite enjoyable and liberating. the crew was nice, and the objective something he had been wanting to explore for a long time—men in lingerie. so, he went through the motions and took the pictures.
everything was good, for a little while. the morning after, adrian received an email (through his agent) from a corporate CK member. it was unapologetic and shallow, full of distracting business figures and words. but to summarise, basically it said: "Dear Adrian, we reviewed the pictures you took and decided they are too far straying from heterosexuality for our vision, and for our profit. The campaign won't run, and now you have two options: continue being a background player we can ignore, or break contract and get fined (but please don't do the latter because if this all got out and we got exposed for being the homophobic assholes we are, shit could get messy). Yours Sincerely, Capitalism."

adrian felt a little defeated, but he had never been known as one who tolerated bullshit. so, he looked at the funds he allocated for food shopping in his bank account, then weighed up the amount of non-perishable meals he could make with the food in his cupboard, and let out a big 'fuck you!', broke contract, pissed off a lot of high-up people in the campaign world, and found himself back to square one.
unemployed, and without any prospect of a career in modelling.

supposedly.