My Saving Grace

Lonely

Luke stayed true to his words. He never touched me or even looked at me since I forgave him.

When I forgave him I wanted things to go back to normal, not for him to ignore me.

I still slept in his bed every night and he slept in the spare bedroom. I woke up every night with cold sweats from having bad dreams about my father and I couldn't even ask Luke to comfort me because I knew he would say no.

I woke up early Saturday morning from my alarm. I decided to have a shower before Luke came in and had one. He still used his shower he just made sure I was either sleeping or already had a shower before he had one.

I got out of the shower and got dressed and I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in"

"I'm just going to shower" Luke said as he walked in the door. He was looking at the ground as he walked to the bathroom. Once he shut the door I let out a sigh. It was so lonely without Luke to talk to. I felt like I was back to having no friend and being a freak.

That's probably why Luke stopped talking to me. He realized I was a freak too even though he said I wasn't. I sat down on Luke's bed and curled up into a ball and started crying. A few minutes later I heard the bathroom door open. I didn't even bother trying to stop crying because it was no use.

"S-Skyy what's wrong?" Luke asked.

I sniffled a little before I could croak out my answer.

"Everyone hates me. No matter how hard I try to be normal it still doesn't work. I hate myself"

The bed dipped down and Luke put his hand on my back rubbing circular motions. This was the first time he touched me since I forgave him.

"I don't hate you"

"Well it sure seems like it"

"I thought you hated me for hitting you so I've been keeping my distance. It's been killing me but I'm trying Skyy."

"Luke when I forgave you I wanted things to go back to normal not you to start ignoring me."

Luke pulled me over to him and onto his lap.

"How's this for back to normal?" He asked

"Much better" I said with a smile.

"I'm so sorry Skyy I never meant to hurt you and this guilt that I'm carrying hurts so much. I haven't eaten anything or slept in days. I'm so glad you forgive me. I never expected you to because I'm such an asshole. What I'm really trying to say is-"

I cut him off by placing my index finger to his lips.

"Shh. I know what you mean. Let's just carry on like nothing happened, okay?"

"I like the sound of that."

"So what should we do today?" I asked.

"How about watching movies and eating junk food all day? I'm pretty exhausted"

"That sounds like a perfect day to me." I said with a smile."

We went downstairs and I got junk food from the pantry, while Luke searched for movies on Netflix. Walking into the living room Luke had some horror movie up on the screen.

"A-Are we watching that?" I asked nervously.

I hated horror movies they scared me so much. There was just something about them that freaked me out.

"Yea, unless you don't like horror movies"

"W-Well it's not that I don't like them it's just that they kind of freak me out and make my bad dreams worse."