For Your Love

A Reminder

"Mom, I'm sorry for making you worry and be late for work." I apologize right away as I answer her call.

"Finnly, honey, don't worry about that. Where are you?" Her soothing voice being exactly what I need right now. She's lying though, her being late is a big deal.

"I'm at the school mom. I-I was just talking to one of my professors and I lost track of time ma." I stupidly lie, knowing she won't believe a word I'm saying. How does a person lose almost an hour of time talking to a teacher?

"That's fine honey, I'm still parked right outside in my usual spot. I took the rest of the day off at the market so let's go home now." Her reassuring tone music to my ears.

The car ride is silent and no one wants to break it. She chooses to ignore my lie. I guess it's better than having to deal with the consequences. I wouldn't even know what to say. All the words out of my mouth would be lies. I just want her to think that everything is fine because that's the world she deserves. I choose to close my eyes and and put my head against the window.

"How was your day at school, honey?" My mom calls out as we enter the house.

The once cement stairs have been turned into a wooden ramp. My mother thought that the ramp would be safer for me. Apparently to her, three steps is too much for me to handle. If only she knew how much I had to handle at school, maybe she would realize that those three steps are nothing to me.

"It was great mom. I think I'm making a friend," I lie through my teeth, "he's a new student. His name is Luca." as I put my bag down and make my way to my room.

She needs something to distract her from the failure that I am. No matter how many times she tells me I don't need friends, I know she's just waiting for me to prove her wrong. She wants me to be a normal human being, a normal teenager. I wish I could be everything she wanted.

Slender arms embrace me and stop me in my tracks. I hug her back, taking comfort in her hugs since I was a little child. "I'm so proud of you. So what's the kid like?"

My mind scrams to think things about Luca and my mouth vomits them all out, "He's tall, athletic, kind, helpful, smart, protective." I list. I wish I could add more things, like that he's a stubborn fool and such an ass.

She hugs me tighter and laughs. "Wow that sounds like a good friend. If he's a keeper you gotta invite him over sometime."

I know that it's actually more of a demand. This isn't the first time I've lied about having a friend. If I don't bring him over she'll know I'm lying, like the previous time. This is a test. I know it's not right to lie to her, especially after all that she has done for me, but I don't see how this could hurt.

"Yeah, sometime soon."

I spend the day doing homework and helping with housework. My mom kisses me goodbye as she leaves for her second job in the evening. She has to work two jobs to keep a roof over our heads since it's just the two of us. Dad is dead and I'm blind. The only one really capable of working is her so, the weight of supporting us fell on her shoulders. I think this is the only reason I'm still mad about Dad. He didn't think about the responsibilities Mom would have to face if his plan didn't work. Although, I doubt he was thinking at all.

The next morning I don't know what to expect. As I sit down to silence I know he isn't in his seat. For the whole period I keep wondering if he was going to show up, but he never does. As the rest of the class went by, he was absent. Sitting through another lecture of Mr. Leonard seemed more painful than ever. My mind kept dozing off, thinking if Luca would show up at all and why he was gone. I'm just surprised that Amanda didn't say anything to me