For Your Love

The End

'Later' turned into a day, which then turned into two, and then three. 'Later' has now been a week. Gordon hasn't said anything when he's around me which is seldom now. It's just when we have to work together for a communication exercise in the Alt program. He's rarely in the class. He's probably been in his secret spot for the last week, but I can't join him anymore. I bite my lip, I should stop thinking about him. This might be his answer. This could be his way of saying he can't accept what I've done to him. Which is understandable. I didn't forgive Luca for the same reason.

My hand runs through my hair. This week has been anything but normal. I don't even know what normal is for me anymore.

Todd doesn't say anything to me anymore. He only talks to me in our Chemistry class because he's my lab partner, otherwise he doesn't bother me anymore. Amanda suddenly became a lot more quiet. I was honestly surprised she could be so quiet. Inside I felt a lot different than I thought I would. I'm still haunted by the fact that in a different world we could have still been friends. We could have still been the troublesome trio. But now they're just ghosts of my past.

Luca doesn't sit next to me anymore. The seat next to me has stayed empty since he told me to stay away from him. In a way he also feels like a ghost. Something that could have been.

"Mr. Huert I suggest you pay attention. The test will be given in exactly one week. I won't go any easier on you." Mrs. Willis says, bringing me out of the clouds.

I chew on my bottom lip. Trying to fight the urge to bite it. Trying to break that habit. So I run my hands through my hair again. I really need to do good in this test. But with everything that has happened, I can barely concentrate on what she has to say. My thoughts go back to him. They always go back to Gordon. Is this what love is? Because it feels really unfair.

The bell rings for second period, but math is the last place I want to be right now. The more complicated math gets, the harder it becomes for me to learn through the resources I have. So instead I head to the Alt building. Even if I can't go into Gordon's spot, the library itself isn't very popular. I had asked a faculty member if they had any Braille books. To my surprise they had a whole wall.

I numbly grab any book and go to a table. I sit down and read for a whole hour. If I was asked to recall what I just read, I don't think I could. My mind isn't focused on this. It's daydreaming about things that could have been. I only get out of the library when the lunch bell rings. I still go to my not so secret room. It's been engraved into my mind as the place where I eat. I guess I could eat at the cafeteria, but that just sounds like another kind of hell. My hands scramble to put the book back so I can dart to the room before too many people get out of their class and crowd the hallway. But in my speed, I end up dropping the book which makes a loud thud as it hits the floor. I can hear it echo and cringe. I can only hope that no one else is here to mee the mess that I am.

But someone is.

"Geez, I didn't know you were clumsy." his voice says from in front of me.

I freeze. I didn't realize how much I missed his voice. I can't think of anything to say. What I want to do is burst into tears and cling onto him. Instead, I keep my head down. I can feel my heart beat wildly, completely out of my control.

"I didn't know if you were ever going to talk to me again Gordon. You don't know how crazy I've-"

His hand lifted my head up and his lips pressed against mine. My breathing stops. Everything stops. Even time itself. I can only feel his lips against mine. His hand on my cheek. He kisses me softly. His lips softer than anything I could have imagined.