Harry Potter One Shots

Day of the Spoons

All rights belong to the author, BajaB

On a rather scratchy piece of parchment, written in blotchy, uneven writing, was a letter.

Dear Ms Hermione Granger,
This letter is to make you aware of certain actions that have been taken against you as a result of inappropriate attitudes you have expressed publicly.

Although in the past we have applauded and supported your unusual understanding and sympathy regarding the house elves of Hogwarts, we have noted that you have completely failed to extend this same consideration to other oppressed magical races.

We were willing to overlook such hypocrisy as, at the time, we and our associate organisations believed you were yet to be enlightened as to our own existence. In light of your recent comments however, we have decided to bring to your attention the complete lack of empathy, or understanding, that you have displayed.

Until such a time as you publicly renounce your statements and make a formal apology to our members, all services to you from our organisation, and affiliated associates, will cease.

Yours truly,
Stan Shaperly
Head Knife,
Cutlery Association of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Harry sat down next to Ron and was about to start eating his lunch, when he noticed Hermione was eating rather messily with her hands. She looked at him with a fierce gaze that immediately stopped dead the question that had leapt to his lips.

Ron was busy watching his plate, obviously trying not to laugh. His only reply to Harry's questioning look was an expression that clearly said "Don't ask!"

Harry decided to follow Ron's example and try to ignore the fact that Hermione had apparently forgotten how to use a knife, fork, or spoon. After a few minutes however, he was on the verge of risking a question, when Fred and George sat down next to Hermione. She stopped eating and looked at them with what can only be described as hope in her eyes.

"Sorry Hermione," began George apologetically. "We checked with everyone, and nobody knows anything about this."

Harry thought he could see the hope in Hermione's eyes fade away to be replaced with despair.

"Look, if anybody here is playing a joke on you, we would be able to find out," added Fred.

Hermione looked like she was going to cry when the twins got up and left. Harry couldn't contain himself any longer. Sometimes you just had to stick your neck out, even if it meant making yourself a target.

"What's going on?" he blurted out, ignoring Ron's warning looks.

Hermione visibly tried to regained control of herself. Tears welled in her eyes, but her expression was one of fury. Obviously not trusting herself to answer, she passed a folded letter to him.

Dear Ms Hermione Granger..., it began.

As Harry read the letter he felt his confusion growing.

"I don't understand," he said, passing the letter back to Hermione. "Who did you insult?"

"The teaspoons!" blurted Ron, finally giving up on what had been, ultimately, the impossible task of holding in his laughter.

Harry smiled at Ron's infectious laughter and confusing answer. He still wasn't sure what was going on. Ron couldn't speak anymore because of the gales of laughter he was desperately trying to suppress.

"What does he mean, the teaspoons?" he asked Hermione, who was not smiling, and now had a sullen look of anger on her face as she stared at Ron.

"I said Ron had the emotional range of a teaspoon," she answered tersely, "and now knives won't cut for me, food falls off my fork and the spoons all appear to have holes in them when I try to use them."