What Was Learnt

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All rights belong to the author, AsSafeAsSnape

Severus was shocked. He couldn't process this new information. The occlumency lessons were supposed to protect the boy, not hurt him. He was inside Harry's head, exploring his most precious memories, trying to provoke the boy into successfully pushing him out. As he clawed his way further into Harry's magical core, he found a locked 'box' inside of him. Severus slashed his way into the box, expecting to see all the times that Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger had gotten themselves into trouble, or some other childish secret, but what he found almost ripped him apart!

Harry's memories surrounded him, threatening to drown him. A four-year old Harry Potter smacked hard for playing with his cousin Dudley's toys. 5 year-old Harry, locked in a cupboard, starving. Harry Potter cooking breakfast, but not receiving any and mowing the lawn with heat exhaustion. Sick harry being neglected. Harry being bullied by his cousin and his 'gang'. Harry being punched, thrown into a wall, kicked, knocked unconscious. And finally, countless memories of Harry Potter, locked in a cupboard under the stairs, tending to his own injuries, looking so small and innocent and alone, crying while studying a photo of his parents.

An unbelievable guilt overwhelmed Severus, washing through him relentlessly. He was supposed to protect Harry, he had promised Lily that he would. He had failed her, not held his promise. The boy was not rude and arrogant like his father, as he had led himself to believe, he was just an innocent child. He has been abused his whole life, for Merlin's sake! Severus had momentarily forgotten that he was still trapped in the boy's memories as a faint Protego echoed in his own head.

He was suddenly seeing himself, hanging upside down with Sirius Black and James Potter taunting him. Harry Potter had pushed Severus out with so much force that he had barged his way into Severus' head. Severus eventually gained control and pushed Harry out, and watched the boy fall to the floor, barely able to control his emotions. He was angry, not with the boy for entering his mind, but with himself. He told Harry to leave knowing that he would not return to his common room tonight. He followed the boy, he had to protect him, and he most certainly HAD to rescue Harry from his abusive relatives.

Severus stealthily followed the emotional wreck that was Harry Potter out of the castle, the moon barely illuminating him in the darkness. The boy ran to the centre of the quidditch pitch, collapsing to his hands and knees, burying his face in his hands. Severus made his way to the teachers stand and watched the boy lose control and cry to himself, an occasional sob escaping his quivering form. Severus' own emotions were swaying as he watched the boy crying in the dark, knowing it was a usual process for him. He wanted to go down, to talk to him, or hug him, but he was not good at showing anything other than anger and resentment.

Severus knew that if the boy happened to look up, he would be hidden. He wanted to observe the boy without being seen, so he purposely chose the stand with the moon behind it. He was completely engulfed by shadows.

Severus suddenly felt very cold. He wrapped his long, black robes tightly around himself and watched as Harry too, curled into a ball, looking as though he was violently shaking. That's odd he thought as he sat on the seat closest to the edge of the stand, still intently watching the boy before him. It was very rare that Severus felt this cold, especially on a warm night like this had been.

Something to the left of him caught his eye, and he squinted through the darkness to see what it was. Within seconds Severus realised that the quidditch pitch was swarming with dementors. That's why its so cold!. His hand flew into his pocket and retrieved his wand. Harry was still sitting with his knees drawn into his chest, his face hidden between them. He must not have known that the dementors were there. As if hearing Severus' thoughts his head shot up, followed by the rest of his body, wand drawn. It was as though both Harry and Severus were being controlled, screaming "expecto patronum" at the same time, a silvery stag and doe chasing the dementors away, side by side. Severus saw Harry's head shoot up to the teachers stand, looking for the caster of the beautiful, silvery doe. As Harry continued searching for the mystery witch or wizard, both of their attention was drawn to the silver patronuses. Watching the last of the dementors flee, Severus and Harry were expecting to see them disappear, but they didn't.

They watched on in awe as the stag and the doe danced around together in the night sky, their movements as beautiful and elegant as those of a ballerina's. It was a truly mesmerizing sight, unlike anything that either of them had ever experienced. Severus watched on as the patronuses made their way to the ground, standing just metres for Harry. What he saw next completely stunned him. His doe transformed into a beautiful, silver woman, Lily Potter, his Lily, and the stag turned into James Potter.

He watched the silvery figures face each other, holding hands and smiling, before turning to face Harry. Their spare hands moved out in front of them, gesturing for Harry to come in for a hug. Severus knew that they weren't real, and there was going to be no happy ending to this situation for Harry. It hurt Severus a great deal to see Harry be mislead by magic in the form of his long gone parents. Severus nearly cringed as he watched Harry take a tentative step forward. The patronuses completely outstretched their arms, obviously wanting to embrace the child, and a now smiling Harry ran and leapt into what he thought was going to be his parents' arms, but, like silver fireworks, they exploded, Severus still looking on as Harry fell to the ground, disappointment and sadness completely engulfing his features. Severus knew this was not good, and took off running down the stairs to Harry.

He bolted across the grass to Harry's side and dropped to his knees. Severus reached out to put his hands on Harry's shoulders, and as they came into contact with each other, they felt jolts of electricity-like energy surging through them, like a dull version of the cruciatus curse. All the guilt that Severus had felt over Lily had disappeared, and a new patronus Lily was standing in front of him. James Potter was there also, although his silvery form was surrounded by an aura of angry, red light. Severus wondered if Harry had let the anger he had at his father from Severus' memories go, because the red aura that had once surrounded him had disappeared. Harry looked exhausted and drained of energy.

Severus' own emotions were threatening to emerge from deep within being so close to the woman he once loved, and the teary-eyed child that he swore to protect. The Lily patronus turned to Severus and smiled, nodding her head, then both she and James knelt down in front of Harry, gaining eye contact with him. 'We love you', they mouthed, and blew him a kiss as they stood, holding hands, and floated upwards and out of sight.

The carefully constructed wall containing Harry's emotions cracked; Severus felt the change in his aura, and caught him as he collapsed into a sobbing heap. He pulled Harry into his chest, his left arm around the child's front and shoulders, while his right hand carded though Harry's messy black hair. He allowed the child to lean against him and cry, and he continued to hold him lovingly, offering soft words of comfort and switching between running his long, gentle fingers through Harry's hair, and rubbing soothing circles around his back. After a few minutes Harry turned to face Severus and returned the embrace, shocking Severus completely, and he continued comforting the child.

When the sobbing turned into an occasional sniffle, Severus scooped Harry into his arms and picked him up, heading towards the castle. He could tell that Harry was in a bad way mentally, because instead of protesting at being carried, he buried his way further into Severus' robes. "Its ok child, I've got you, I'll look after you, I'll protect you. You're my child now, and I promise no one will hurt you ever again." Severus knew that Harry needed him, he had no one, and he too needed Harry. He carried the child, his child, through the darkness, all the way back to the dungeons. He had promised to protect Harry and keep him safe, and he intended to keep his promise.

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