Harry Potter One Shots

Friendship

All rights belong to the author, YellowWolf

The common room was abandoned, except for a lone figure sitting on the comfortable couch by the fire. It was still early, it was still dark outside but he couldn't sleep anymore. He hadn't been able to sleep properly for days because of one reason.

Harry's knees were pulled up to his chest and his chin was resting on them. His gaze was fixed firmly on the fire. The yellow/orange/red flames were doing a dance of their own while casting an almost eerie glow around the common room. Yet he was unaware of the changing colours of the flames. He was staring almost unblinkingly in the fire while lost in thought.

A single tear made its way out of the corner of his eye and slid slowly down his cheek, leaving behind a trail which could clearly be seen when the flames shone on it. He made no effort to wipe away the tear. It slid down further until it reached his chin where it fell down on his pants. He could not cry anymore and he was glad for that. He had cried enough.

Just a few days ago, he had been misled by his biggest enemy, Voldemort. Voldemort had planted a vision in his head, a vision of his godfather being tortured. Foolish as he was, he had not been able to see that it was a trap. He had not, not even for a second, thought that maybe, just maybe Voldemort intended for him to see it. He had rushed to Sirius's aid, or so he had thought.

What had started out as a rescue mission, had ended in what he had feared when he had seen the vision, Sirius's death. He had seen his godfather fall behind the veil, had seen his once alive eyes go empty as the jet of green light hit him. He'd wanted to kill Bellatrix but he hadn't, hadn't even been able to torture her because that's not who he was. Sometimes, like now, he regretted that. He'd wanted his revenge but hadn't gotten it. He was determined to make her pay for it. One day ... one day he would make her pay.

The stupidity of his actions had only really registered that same night while attempting to sleep but not being able to as the only thing he saw behind closed eyelids was his godfather. They were lucky that not more people had died. One of his friends could've died too. It had been close. They, couple of fifth year, had been up against highly trained Death Eaters. They had been lucky they had gotten out alive.

Hermione had warned him that Occlumency was important. Snape had warned him. Dumbledore had warned him. They had all warned him. Yet he hadn't given it his best shot. He had welcomed the connection because that way he knew what Voldemort was up to. Not once had it entered his mind that Voldemort might use it against him. They had all warned him for it but he had ignored him, chosen to keep the connection open. Stupid.

His hands balled into fists at the thought. He felt the overpowering urge to smack himself, curse himself, just hurt himself. It was despair he felt now, desperation. Anger surged through his veins but he realized the only person to blame was himself or perhaps Dumbledore for not telling him sooner about the connection, for not letting Snape train him sooner. Then maybe this could've been prevented. Then maybe Sirius would still be alive. No, it was no one's fault but his own. His nails dug in his flesh. Just a little harder and he would draw blood. He welcomed the sharp sting. His fists relaxed but his heart was still thumping wildly as if expecting more pain.

He let his head fall back against the couch and closed his eyes briefly, or at least intended on closing them briefly. Sirius's face swam into his mind's eye. His godfather was standing before him, smiling at him, holding open his arms. Harry moved into them, hugging him. He broke away, noticed he was at the Order's headquarters but everything seemed blurred somehow. Everything but Sirius. He could see Sirius quite clearly. Sirius's mouth was moving but he couldn't hear what he was saying. A smile formed on his face and he noticed it reached Sirius's eyes. He saw that familiar sparkle. He opened his own mouth but no sound came out. Then the scenery changed. They were inside the ministry. The only thing he saw clearly was still Sirius. The jets of green and red streaking past around them didn't seem real. Sirius was still talking, smiling but suddenly his expression changed. His mouth formed in a silent scream, his eyes widened before the sparkle in his eyes was put out forever. Sirius fell behind the veil and Harry reached out, mouth forming a quiet 'no'. This time sound came out and he heard himself yell.