Nanosuit and Soul Magic: A Crysis/RWBY crossover

bonus 4

I'm writing this because it's pointless and fun.

Setup: The timeline is during episode 1 of Volume 3, after the incident with Weiss's credit card getting declined at the noodle stand. Weiss is feeling pretty put out at having had to rely on the charity of others, and feeling kind of humiliated. Ruby notices, and wants to cheer her up. So, Ruby is going to win her a big prize from one of the games in the festival grounds. However, she wants it to be a surprise, so she asks Alcatraz to distract her. Alcatraz notices a nearby Atlesian guard robot that wound up accidentally falling off of the coliseum and pancaked on impact, then was set aside until it could be disposed of. He proceeds to go above and beyond the call of duty.

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So, I could just start up a conversation with Weiss. But that would be boring, so fuck it. 

Instead, I walk over to where the broken killbot is sitting, and then dramatically collapse to my knees. "NO! OH GOD, BROTHER, WHY!?"

People are stopping and staring, including three members of the team. Ruby takes the opportunity to sneak off to one of the automated game stalls, one where different targets give different prizes when you hit them. Good, back to the performance.

"WHY? WHY DID YOU JUMP!? I know there were troubles with your marriage, but you didn't need her anyway! She went behind your back with a music player! OH GOD, YOU HAD SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!"

I reach forward, grab onto its head, then wrench it off as I spin around. Still on one knee, I hold the robot head above me in the air with one hand, and clasp the other to my chest. "OH, ALAS POOR YORICK-BOT!" 

One of the other robots approaches me to try and figure out what the disturbance is, and I stand and grab it by the shoulder. "I knew him, Robo-Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy! He hath borne me on his back a thousand times, and now he's DEAD! MY NONEXISTANT BILE RISES AT THE MERE THOUGHT!"

I fling my arm around the still-working robot's shoulders, ignoring its attempts to free itself, then hold the decapitated head-peice in front of us. "OH, YORICK BOT, WHERE ARE YOUR GIBES NOW!? Your gambols? Your songs? Your dirty limericks? Oh GOD, the ROBOMANITY!"

I spin Robo-Horatio around to face me. "Please, my friend, tell me something!"

"Please do not interfere with this unit's operation."

"Do you think that Alexandertron looked this way, once HE was in the earth!?"

"I do not understand the question."

I stood up, shoving poor Robo-Horatio out of the way, as I held Yorick-Bot's head up high.

Out of the corner of my vision, I see Ruby having some problems with the game. She's gotten a couple of lesser prizes, but I'm guessing that she wants the main one. To get that, she needs to hit a target that's spinning wildly around in a circle, behind a set of barriers that are also spinning in the opposite direction. While she might be a crack shot with a sniper rifle, Ruby is evidently not quite as accurate with small plastic balls.

No problem, for I have a plan.

"Oh, GOODNIGHT, SWEET PRINCE!" After I said that, I flung my arms wide, throwing Yorick-Bot's head off to the side, towards Ruby. It bounces off of the stand's counter, glances off the ceiling, and nails the target at just the right time. A little bell rings, and the grand prize (A giant stuffed teddy bear) is dropped down onto the counter.

After a few seconds, when I don't say anything else, the small crowd that gathered around me starts applauding. One of them even throws flowers. I take a bow, and then I grab Robo-Horiatio and force him to take a bow, too.

The crowd disperses, and I head back over to the girls. Yang is in stitches, and even Blake is cracking a smile. Weiss looks a little exasperated, though. 

"Why did you go and make such a scene? You seriously damaged that Knight, too."

Before I can answer, Ruby arrives, toting the massive stuffed animal. "Hey Weiss, I got you a present!"

Weiss looks back and forth in between us. "...You two planned this, didn't you?"

I look as innocent as I possibly can. To be fair, that isn't very innocent, but I'm working with what I've got, here. "What? Planned? Please, true theatrical displays are spontaneous! I was simply expressing my love of the fine arts!"

She narrows her eyes, then looks over to Ruby. "And you?"

"I just wanted to cheer you up." Oh dear god, there's no way she's doing that wide-eyed earnest look by accident. Nobody can weaponize adorableness to that degree without serious effort.

Weiss caves in seconds. "Thank you for the gift, Ruby. It's very nice."

And now, everyone's happy. And I even got to introduce this world to a bastardized version of Shakespeare. Today was a good day. 

Pity about Yorick-Bot, though.