Chapter 4

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Mr.Devono is a bitch. He really is. He called my mom saying that I was 'back talking him' and saying all this shit to him when all I said was one snarky comment. One, in my whole life time!

Woah. I need to calm myself down before I have another anxiety attack.

Anxiety (or panic) attacks were a regular for me. Most just happening at random times but some when I get nervous or angry. I really fucking hated it. It's like you can't breath and you feel as though you are losing control of yourself. Sometimes there's shaking, or feeling as though you're gonna throw up, but normally for me it just makes me feel like I'm being stabbed in the chest.

My depression is similar to that. I'm sick and tired of feeling like crying all the time. Some days I feel like giving up. Just ending my life. But I know that there's still hope for me. That someday someone or something will be my saviour from this cruel place we call earth. So I keep my head up, and put a fake smile on my face that everyone seems to believe.

Enough with the sob stories.

I walked out of Mr.Devono's classroom with my brows furrowed. Now that I think of it, I should have told him to go eat a bag of dicks instead of saying "Have you been paying attention at all this class?" Damn.

The halls were empty and for the most part silent. It kind of creeped me out, so I speed walked to my locker.

I grabbed my bag and closed the door but when I looked beside me, Jake was right there leaning against the locker beside mine. I jumped and grabbed my chest as if I was feeling my heart rate. "Shit." I mumbled, trembling.

"You scared me!" I screamed at him, but quiet enough that teachers wouldn't come out and scream at me.

"That was kind of the point if you didn't notice?" he raised his eyebrows as that smirk of his crawled onto his perfect face. Hey calm down, you have a boyfriend idiot. You can't blame a girl for looking?

"You're a jerk you know that?" I began to walk away, but he followed behind like a lost puppy. I giggled at the thought.

"Do you really want me to tickle you again?" It sounded as though he was trying to threaten me but, pshh I wasn't scared of some tickling, no!

"No." I said sternly, fixing my posture and walking away again.

I didn't bother looking back again. I can't have any temptations. I love Lucas and only Lucas. Lucas is my sole mate and I know it. Jake is a friend and only a friend.

I walked out of the school with a sigh. This was a long first day. I cried, lost friends, got knocked over, gained a friend, got kicked out of class, and got tickled to death. Basically an emotional ride. Definitely gonna feel that when I get home. I can already feel the heart palpitations. Shit not again. I cringed just thinking about it. I needed to stop or it will be worse.

I felt something grip my wrist and twirl me around. I furrowed my brows as I saw Jake standing in front of me.

"What's wrong?" he inquired.

"Nothing just a long day I guess." I massaged my temple and closed my eyes feeling dizzy. It felt as though my head was spinning as I began to sway unintentionally. I stumbled over my feet and hit something hard but it wasn't the ground. I could feel a hand on my waist holding me up and I'm guessing my head was in Jake's chest. Wow he's muscular.

"Shit." I heard him mumble. I couldn't really comprehend what had happened at the moment. I couldn't think straight. It was all a jumbled mess until I opened my eyes, the throbbing in my head had stopped and I had pulled myself out of Jake's support as I heard a voice that belonged to someone else other than him.

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