sing your song, Comagirl (finished)

Part 13

CC's POV

When I walked into the room Cecilie was already there. 
"I wasn't told I would get money from being the merch girl" She said frowning.
"what's wrong with being paid?" I said, shocked that she was sad about it.
She held up 300 dollars.

"This is a lot of money CC..." She sighed "And I really had a lot of fun doing it, so I don't feel like I should be paid this much..." I laughed.
"Well... that's what we pay our merch girl, take it or leave it" She rolled her eyes at me. I walked over  to her and hugged her. When I pulled away she was smiling at me.
"You mind if I take a shower?" I asked her, and she shook her head. I gave her a quick peck on the lips and went to the shower. I could tell by her eyes that the kiss had surprised her.

I showered pretty quickly. I didn't wash my hair, as I had done that yesterday. 
When I came out she was sitting on the bed with the journal in her hand. I wondered what she was writing about...
"What sort of thinks do you write in your journal?" I asked her.

She blushed "mainly just write about my day... I write a lot of poetry too" She closed the journal.
"Are you a good poet?" I asked her.
She shrugged.
"read me one?" I begged her.
She looked down and I could tell that she was thinking about it. "No Christian... they're so ridiculous"
"okay.." I nodded. I understood if she didn't wanna share something that private with me.

I put my right hand on her cheek and started kissing her. She kissed back and wasn't hestitant when I deepened the kiss. I started pressing my body towards her so she would lay on the bed. I was on top of her. My left hand was holding me up as my right hand was trailing her body. I could tell that her breathing changed everytime my hand reached a new spot. It was under her shirt but I kept it on her waist and ribs so it wouldn't be too much.
I could feel that she wasn't wearing anything under the shirt, but I was afraid how whe would react if I started touching her chest.
I started kisser her neck and I could tell that she really liked it. Her breathing was very heavy. I went back to kissing her lips and i lowered my body closer to hers. I had been on my knees bending over her, but I wanted to be closer. When I got close enough that my crotch was touching hers ever so slightly she moaned. I stopped to look at her.

She looked very nervous "CC..." She said anxiously "yea?" I said and pecked her lips.
"I'm not ready for more than this..." Anxiety was clear in her voice so I pecked her lips pulled away and said "It's okay babe..." Her eyes widened at the last word and so did mine. I didn't mean to call her babe, it just kinda slipped out. 
She blushed and I laid down beside her playing with her hair.
It didn't take long before we were both asleep. 

I woke up the next morning from Jake calling my phone. I picked it up "Hello?" I said in a cheery tone trying not to sound like we just woke up.
"We have to be in the bus in 30 minutes we're leaving for the venue in Sweden" He hung up the phone before I could answer.

I turned to face Cecilie who still seemed asleep.
I kissed her on the forehead "We have to get up now, we're late" She opened her eyes and stretched. We stood up, got dressed, styled our hair and packed our stuff. Then we were out the door.

Cecilie's POV

We were going to Sweden today and then the tour would be over. The guys would leave for LA and I had to go back home to Denmark... I got really sad thinking about it so when we got in the bus I went directly to my bunk. CC looked at me but didn't follow me. I was happy about that.. I just needed to be alone. 

Trigger Warning CUTTING
If you are having thoughts about harming yourself please seek help.

I got this urge. I hadn't had it for a while, but I had kind of missed it. 
I took my journal to the small restroom in the back of the bus I locked the door and sat on the floor. I shook the journal and the blade I had stuffed in the binding fell out.

I picked up the blade. It had only been used once before. I took it to my right arm as I had no more space on the left one. I started out with a very small cut on the middle of my forearm, but the warm sensation that spread around the cut made my heart feel so light.

I made another one a bit deeper this time and another one.
Andy was knocking on the door "You okay in there?" He asked.
"Uhm, yea" I said Shocked. "CC is very concerned about you because he saw you take a journal with you..." I started to stand up "Andy, I'm okay" I said sternly, losing my temper. I could hear him walking away and then I could hear the guys talking.  I heard Jinxx say that it doesn't seem like me to lose my temper like that. 

TW Over

I cleaned myself up and stuffed the blade back inside the binding of my journal. I didn't wear a longsleeved shirt so I would have to hide my arm while walking to my bunk and get a longsleeved shirt.

When I walked out of the bathroom Ahsley walked in there. I didn't talk to anyone even though everyones concerned eyes were on me.