Flame of the Last Rose (completed)

Understanding

I didn't die liked I hope to because I woke back up in my hospital bed. I went to reach with my left arm but found it chained to the bed.

"Am I some sort of threat to you guys now or something ?" I question showing the cuff and looking frantically around the room.

"Not to us but to yourself, you need to stay on rest, only walking allowed and with permission," the doctor answered me calmly, with his hand reaching over on my shoulder. "We don't want you to get hurt, we are just looking out for you,"

Yeah bullshit I think in my head.

I want to escape. First they're going to send me to a recovery center, than audrey died, now this. Why does these things keep happening again and again. It's like the world is asking for me to commit suicide. Not only that but Lindsey hasn't visited me in a while, I miss her and I really need her right now.

"Hey mom, where's my phone?" I asked her. Turning my head in her direction.

"Yeah honey about that," my mom started telling me with her hands fidgeting her lap, "we looked at your search history on your laptop and phone and we thought it would be better if you don't have either of those things for a little while we don't want this to get worse," she got out of her mouth.

I looked at her with the most disgusted look I could give her, I couldn't believe it. 1st off she took away my phone and laptop for something I COULDN'T STOP OR PREVENT. Than she cant even say the word anorexia, she had to say it, like me eating disorder wasn't real to her. That whatever happened in the past few weeks didn't exist. Or when finding out I have anorexia was just a lie. I was done. So I snapped.

"OK MOM LISTEN I COULDN'T PREVENT WHAT I WAS DOING BUT TAKING AWAY MY PHONE WITH MY ONLY WAY TO CONTACT LINDSEY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED WITH AUDREY AND WANTING HER HERE WITH ME ISN'T RIGHT. LISTEN I KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING WAS BAD I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING BUT I COULDN'T STOP IT, AND BELIEVED ME I TRIED. AND BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING DO SOME RESEARCH MAYBE YOU WILL LEARN A THING OR TWO ABOUT WHAT I HAVE AND MOM I HAVE ANOREXIA I AM ANOREXIC OK WHETHER YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT OR NOT ITS REAL!!" I yelled at her with my body heating up, not caring what happens next. My face turned red I was squeezing my knuckles together until they turned white. I stood up to my mom and that's all that matters. I get she is my mother, but she needs to understand anorexia before she assumes things about it.

"Avery." she started in a calm voice. "I get you're upset but what you were looking at wasn't going to help you, and I don't want you to look at it again, I don't want to lose you" she told me trying not yo get mad.

"MOM YOU GOING THROUGH WHAT I LOOKED AT IS NOT OKAY HOW ABOUT A LITTLE BIT OF PRIVACY. I KNOW IT WASN'T GOING TO HELP ME, BUT I COULDN'T STOP IT AND BEFORE YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD LEAVE THIS ROOM AND DO FUCKING RESEARCH, AND GET AN EATING DISORDER AND YOU SEE HOW IT FEELS!" I screamed at her. I wanted to so badly just somehow cram knowledge into her closed minded brain of hers.

She stood up she wanted to say something but she knew I was mad and left. My dad was about to enter but before he did I had something to say.

"DON'T COME IN I WANT TO BE ALONE!" I yelled at my dad.

He left confused but knew something was up but didn't push it. Thankfully i think dad told the doctors and nurses too, because no one walked in for a few hours. After about 3 hours a familiar face walked in, Miss Baker. I was kinda happy to see her, but I didn't think she cared so much about my life, apparently

"Hey," I shly tell her. Sitting up in bed a tiny bit.

Hey, well the school knew what happened to you and I wanted to visit you because even though we only met once I wanted to check up on you Lindsey has been worried about you. I waited until you were awake and talking before I came to visit you," She told me in the most soothing voice ever sitting in the chair next to me.

"Thank you so much, I kinda blew up at my mom earlier," I told her I know I would have to explain why but I think I am ready to tell her, I mean people know now so what's the worst that could happen.

"Well why was that?" she asked like I knew she would.

"Well I have anorexia and she refused to even say the eating disorder, she took away my phone and laptop because I was looking at thinspo. She made it seem like I was purposely doing what I was doing, I wasn't I tried not to look at thinspo. I tried to overcome it, and it was like no matter how hard I tried she made it seem like I wasn't no matter what I did," I confessed to her fidgeting with my hands.

"I can see where you're coming from, an eating disorder is like a silent killer, even if you try and try, everyone will assume you didn't, because it only becomes known when it almost kills you," She explained to me with the most concerned look on her face.

"You know I couldn't have said it better myself," I told her smiling because someone understands where I'm going from.

I began to open up to he. I told her what drove me to suicide, and my life because what's the point of keeping secrets.

(A/N) I hope you guys enjoy my new part. I'm going to try to post as offten as I can but I started highschool, reffing and unified volleyball, so I'm going to busy so when I post may vary, but letting you know this story isn't ending anytime soon, because there is so much more stuff to write, anyways thank you for reading and Love you alll

:)