Nct's 19th Member

VII

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I held onto my pen tightly as I tried to write down anything I could think about, usually I was really good at writing down lyrics and composing songs but today... today was different....today I couldn't write anything down. It seemed as though there was a grey cloud over my head preventing me from thinking about anything except for mark's departure.

All members had come to the conclusion that the song "dear dream" was going to be composed by ourselves as we wanted nothing but our own feelings and emotions to be portrayed.

"Have any of you wrote anything down?" Renjun asked resting his head in the palm of his hand as he looked around the room

"I wrote like one sentence," Jeno stated looking at his notebook and doodling useless things

"I haven't," I quietly said

I laid my head down while drawing cubes, something I often did when I was in class not paying attention to the teacher

"Come on guys we've been here for more than half an hour, hyeri you're usually good at composing songs are you sure you dont have anything,"

"I don't know my mind has suddenly gone blank" I responded

I spaced out

I started remembering all of the memories we had together

I was lost

It was such a big building with so many floors and even after the secretary told me where the practice room was... I still somehow got lost

I had no idea where I was maybe the third floor....second.... I don't know

So many people were passing by probably confused as to why a twelve year old was walking by herself wondering around the building

"Are you lost?" Someone asked me

I could have taken this chance and told them to help me find my way to the practice room but I was too shy so I just shook my head

The person then left

I started walking once again and looked around the hallway in the hope of maybe seeing a sign, I had seen thousands of signs but I couldn't read them as I hadn't learn any korean yet

I bumped into someone harshly which made me fall to the floor

I immediately stood up and started blushing embarrassed at how clumsy I was

"I'm so so sorry, I should've looked at where I was going!" I apologized to the boy who looked to be about my age or older...not much though

"Hey hey, it's ok," he assured me with the brightest smile

how can such smile be possible, I thought

It made me feel safe in the weirdest way

"My name is mark,"he shook my hand

"Hyeri,"

"Where are you from Hyeri?"He asked me

"Umm.. I'm from New york, you?" I responded

"Canada," he smiled again

Gosh, how much did I love that smile

"What are you doing anyway?"  He asked, this kid asked a lot of questions

"Well I was looking for the practice room but this is my first day here so I was kind of lost," I played with my hands nervously

"Well you are in luck, I'm actually heading that way right now, come on follow me," he took my hand and started skipping along the hallways making me giggle at his actions

I was never good at making friends but that day I made my first best friend, Mark Lee.

"Why are you starin at me?" Mark asked me

I shook my head repeatedly, "it's nothing"

I looked at my notebook...

The pages were blank the only thing that was drawn was a heart at the top right corner and a ton of doodles

I took my pencil and let my heart take over not thinking twice about what was written

I know this will be a memory not a reminiscence

Just don't forget this
One nigh, far from now
There will be a star that will lift your spirits
That star will be me
You exist
The scale of the size nobody will understand
Other than us
In my heart
I'll be your home

I loved writing lyrics and composing songs because in a way it was how I would express my self and deliver my feelings.... through songs since I wasn't good at telling them through words

This song... I knew it would mean a lot to me

I know I will look back five years or more from now and be proud of it, be proud of the lyrics... of every single word that was sang through the melody. It was telling a story, a very important story

"I have something if you guys want to check it out," I told them holding up my notebook in the air

They all huddled around me and read the lyrics I had written down

"I know it's not the best I mean we could chan-" I was interrupted by someone's arms embracing me tightly

I looked up and noticed his black hair

"Mark umm I can-t breath-t," I struggled to talk

"Sorry I don't know what to say I mean it's beautiful," He was speechless and it made me happy.

Not only happy but proud, the last thing I wanted was to disappoint him and everyone around me

That was my biggest fear, disappointing the people I love

"I'm happy you like it, this is only a small portion of it,"

"It's going to be perfect!" I exclaimed excitedly

All I wanted was for this song, Dear Dream, to represent the sadness yet comforting feeling we were all experiencing

I have never worked so hard in a song before but It was all worth it though, because this one meant the whole world to me.

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Ok so I will do this part and then a short chapter about nct recording diary #5 with hyeri.
Also I'm currently still writing isac pt.2 because I've been busy with school since im taking math honors and an extra class in the morning an hour before school starts so I've also been really tired but I'll always make time for writing ;)
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