Journal

6

I open my eyes to the feeling of the cold leather couch. I sat up. My hair tie falls and my hair falls to my back. I flip my hair to the side because middle parts aren't really my thing.

I get up and walk over to the dark hallway. As i was trying to reach Jahseh's room. My pace transitioned to slow as i heard jahseh talk. I creak the door open.

"You always do this shit bruh! You fall in love but what if she hurts you bruh!" He spoke to himself.

"She's not gonna hurt me. She would never think of that sorta thing."

"Well everybody else did."

"But that was the old me. I swear."

As I decided i heard enough. I walk in. As soon as i walked in his attention was on me. He was quiet. I decided to play dumb.

"Who was on the phone?" I asked walking over to sit on our bed.

"Some record deal. I don't know." He mumbles and looks down.

"Jahseh" i said and he looks up at me.

"I love you"

I just feel like the kid needed it. I feel like the kid just really needed to be surrounded by comfort. His face lightens up and he runs over to grab me. Giving me sloppy kisses all around my cheek.

"Okay okay. You're suppose to tell me how you're feeling not show me how you're feeling." I laugh and he laughs and lets me down.

"Are you hungry? We can go downtown and get some food." He asked me.

"Yeah sure. Lets get some food." I smile as i grab his notebook. We put on our slides and went to the car.

(Italics is her writing in the book.)

"Jahseh, so you told me before that you feel comfort?" I asked

"Not exactly, yes i do feel it but most points i feel numb and alone." He answered.

has a feeling of being numb and alone...barely feels the comfort. When comfort is strong the feeling might overpower him at that point of time.

"What is your goal?" I asked and he hummed.

"To seek something better. To create. To evolve. To change what i was before." He said.

Wants to change old self. To evolve into something new and important to anybody who seeks him.

"And does you're feeling have any feed back to that change?" I asked and he groans in relief.

"Yes. Finally somebody understands me. That alone feeling you get. It fucks up my career daisy."he says to me.

"Yeah the feeling of alone is numbing. Way to numbing that you feel like you're in a dream and can't wake up." I turn to him and he smiles.

"Exxxxactly" he slurs and hits his stirring wheel all in happiness.

In process of changing but feelings that are obtain with him wont let him succeed although he's trying hard he actually might change.

I close the notebook and smile

We pulled up to a Wendy's and he turns to me.

"What you want baby girl?" He jokes.

****

"Ugh I'm so tired jah." I placed the notebook on his nightstand and hop on the bed.

"Yea me too." He takes off his shirt and lays next to me.

"Daisy, theres this modeling run way shit i gotta go to tomorrow. Want me to take you?" He asked me and i gasp.

"Yes, of course. That so crazy. That's like everybody's dream." I jump up in happiness.

"Really? It ain't mine." He said with no emotion. He just looked down at his chest and put his hand on his stomach. I lay right back down and he gets up to turn off the lights. I slip under the cover and he did too.

"Goodnight daisy."

"Night jah."

"Daisy"

"Yes jah."

"Can you say i love you one more time?"

"Jah."

"Just one moree timeee."

"I love you jahseh."

"Mmm thankyousomuchiloveyou."