Chapter 17: Hibernation

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"She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, a tiny, bloody angel in the snow, and they were going to destroy her." -Maggie Stiefvater

***

After making sure that Steve's door is locked again, Bucky reenters his own apartment, telling himself that he'll go back to Harley's once she comes back. If she comes back, a little voice whispers. Shut up, she'll be back, a louder voice snarls.

Although sleep is the last thing on Bucky's mind that evening, he reminds himself that time goes faster while unconscious, and that maybe if he sleeps, Harley will be back in the morning with a great explanation.

So, practically collapsing into bed from exhaustion, Bucky falls into a dream world that instantly makes him regret his decision.

"I always liked you, too."

"This isn't a back alley Steve, it's war."

"The thing is you don't have to. I'm with you 'til the end of the line, pal."

This is just one of the many nightmare flashbacks Bucky experiences throughout the night. He doesn't let them discourage him and always falls asleep after he's startled awake. Right now, asleep is the only way he can see Steve and Harley, the only way he can remember his best friend and fiancée without his heart constricting.

*Bucky can feel the handle vibrate beneath him and prays it doesn't break as he struggles to hold on against the wind and cold. Steve has his hand outstretched, yelling at him to take it. Bucky reaches for the reassuring hand just as the bar breaks, the sound like what he imagines happened to Steve's heart as he watched him soar towards the snowy canyon below.

Bucky lands hard and loses consciousness instantly, luckily not aware of the blood flowing out of him and the cold seeping in. He watches Harley fall off the train again and again, followed by Steve's surprised face when the bar broke, followed again by Harley falling, then again of Steve, then Harley, then Steve, before he wakes up in a lab chair...*

Bucky rubs his aching temples. "Second time," he mutters. Why can't I sleep? He tries to imagine what Harley and Steve would say.

"Just try. Fall asleep with good things in your head; that way, bad things have a harder time creeping in."

"Sleep is an escape from this futuristic world we've grown accustomed to. If you want to go back in time, sleep."

Flopping back in the pillows, Bucky tries again.

*"Why did we ever think this could work?" Harley's hand is tight on the door knob. "We're polar opposites; you're a frenzy of snow, and I'm a blazing summer day."

Bucky's arms are crossed against his chest. "Opposites-"

"No matter what you say, opposites don't attract, not in our case." She turns to him with sad green eyes. "We'll destroy each other."

"Or we could make something. You're creative, not destructive, remember?"

Harley shakes her head, grimacing. "I don't care if that's what you believe. I'm dangerous, destructive, and deadly. Hydra made sure of it."

"Hydra is in the past," Bucky says, trying not to let the anger show. "They're gone."

"You're so stupid!" Harley's despondency turns into a flash of rage. "Hydra will never be gone! They'll always live inside us." She pulls the ring off her finger and tosses it to Bucky. "Take it. We're through."

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