Desolation [manxman] DRAFT

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I woke up to the feeling of Alexios' heavy ass body draped over me from behind, clutching me to him and snorring into my ear lightly. I took a deep breath and pushed the panic away momentarily, telling myself he wasn't going to hurt me. I tried to shimmy my way out of his arms but he just tightened his grip on me, which didn't help. At all.

"Get your heavy ass off me." I growled, panicked.

Of course he just had to be a heavy sleeper and couldn't just wake up, setting me free. I could feel his breath brushing over my neck, making the tiny baby hairs there stand up. It squeezed my eyes shut but I could still feel his arms trapping me against him, my heart beating like a jack hammer in my chest. I just bit down into his arm, leading to him jerking awake.

"Ouch." He whined, sleepily. "What was that for?"

"Let go of me." I hissed, pushing against his arms.

As soon as he realized what he was doing he let go off me but didn't let me get away from him. I turned around to glare at him but he just cupped my face. He seemed to be doing this a lot. The gesture was surprisingly gentle and even though I didn't want to admit it, it had the ability to calm me down and soothe me.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

I just huffed in response. He started distributing little kisses all over my face, making me groan in annoyance and trying to get away from him. He chuckled and pressed his lips against mine, taking my breath away there for a second.

"Fine. You win." I sighed against his lips.

I brought a hand up to my lips to brush over them. He beamed at me and then proceeded to shift around, trying to find the right spot. I rolled my eyes at him and just stretched like a cat to get rid of the soreness in my muscles. I needed to take a long, hot shower to get them completely smooth and relaxed but I didn't want to get up right now and leave the warmth that the bed provided me with. 

"Your dad is going to be here by twelve. I asked your brother to stay away for now." He told me.

I furrowed my eyebrows. I didn't want anyone to come over and disturb this moment between us. I would rather want to spend the rest of my life caught in this moment, blocking out reality and looking at his dumb face with the stupid smile that made my heart flutter. He used his finger to caress my jawline, making me peer at him through hooded eyes. 

"It will be alright." He tried to encourage me.

It didn't work. I could feel the fear growing in my stomach, making me feel nauseous and ready to throw up. I started to peel myself out of the blanket cocoon that I had built for myself and wrapped it around my body to block out his gaze. I climbed out of the bed and turned back to look at him, just laying there, upper body exposed. 

"I'm going to take a shower." I announced, walking to the door.

My dad was going to be here in an hour and I was about ready to shit my pants as I shuffled over to the bathroom. I dropped the blanket and stepped into the shower, turning on the water at the highest setting to hopefully burn me out of existence so I wouldn't have to cope with him. What was I supposed to say anyway. Sorry to hurt your feelings but I was telling the truth? Sorry but I don't have the energy to integrate you into my life? Sorry but your existence alone triggers me into a panic attack?

I sighed and started to shampoo the mess of my head that was supposed to be my hair. I debated just shaving it off so I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore but I also hated change which kinda made the entire situation more difficult than it had to be. I sighed and scrubbed at my skin to get it clean. At least the hot water did relax my muscles a bit and warmed up my insides.