A losing Battle

Funeral

I haven’t got out of my room for 4 days now, Carrie been trying to get me to help with the funeral preparation she said it will help me move on but I couldn’t I just want to stay in my room in watch homemade videos of my mom and me when I took my first step and stuff. Has I was watching some videos something weird caught my eyes. I was brown with natural brunette hair but now my hair is black weird and also my mom is blonde and my dad is natural black. This is pretty weird but whatever I didn’t pay must attention to it. Right now all I am worrying about is going to my mom which starts in 1 hours and I still having got ready. Urgh!! I don’t want to go but I have to I have to get a closure. I got out of bed lazily my clothes where filthy there was Ice cream and cookies crumbs and wipe cream. I got in the shower the cold water touch my naked skin with made me shiver a little. After 5 minutes, I got out of the shower and started dressing I didn’t want to wear nothing fancy I just wanted put on something simple so I put on a simple black dress with a square neckline and a black vest and a black and gold flat shoes.  I didn’t even bother wearing makeup I just put some chopstick on. Now all I have to do is to find my phone. Where did I put that thing? Urgh it not on the bed or under the bed. I give up I head downstairs to get some water and head out. I opened the fridge and there was my phone I must have forgot it there last night but whatever. I took my key and head out to my car and drove out to my mom church “The Kingdom First Baptist Church”.

After a long drive I finally got there, I park my car in the back and sat in the car silently thinking that this is really happening today is the last day I will see my mom just that thought brought tears to my eyes. I finally got out I closed my phone and left it in the car. Walking in the church it had black flower all around the church, I saw my little sister Demistria sitting in front with Carrie by her side. There was a sit by Demistria and my dad I guess it for me. I walk slowly to them my dad saw mw he stood up and walk to me and hug me really hard.

_”I am really happy you okay we call you but didn’t pick up we was worried” he said with sadness in his voice he kiss my forehead and we head in front. Carrie stood up has soon has she saw me she hugged me. All I could pay attention to is my sister face, She looked horrible  she looked like she haven’t sleep in days, her face was red as potato I guess it from her crying. I quickly let go of Carrie and hug Demistria like it was our last we cried on each other shoulder nobody said a thing which made the moment perfect.

_”Everyone please take a seat a seat so we can start with the ceremony” the pastor said everyone obeyed.

_”Now to start” He said.

(PAY THE SONG WHILE READ THE NEXT PART)

Four men went on the stage they were wearing black to suits and I quickly recognized them it my mom favorite band “The Westlife” The music started. They started singing :

Always you will be part of me

And I will forever feel your strength

When I need it to most

Then the church door open there was four men carrying my mom basket they walked to the beat of the song. At that moment all I could do was cry tears made waterfall in my eyes. My dad was trying to be strong for all of us he wanted to cry but he was holding back. My sister was a hot mess Carrie was holding her back she was yelling, screaming.

I’ll see you again

You never really left

I feel you walk beside me

I know I’ll see you again

I remember my senior year in high school I dint have a date for prom so I decide not to go. Then my mom walk in my bedroom dress in a suit and she had flowers in her hand she said “Sara Diana Shawn will you please go to the prom with me and make me the happiest mom-man in the world” I brought out laughing and said yes. It was one the moment of my life I could never forget.

Never leave you, yeah

Gone but not forgotten

I feel you by my side

No this is not goodbye

No this is not goodbye

No this is not goodbye

The song ended the basket was in front of the church. The pastor made his way on the podium

_”We are here today to pay our tribute and respect to a women of god, our sister Mellissa Diana Preston Shawn . Mellissa was a proud mother of 2 beautiful girls including Carrie, She was a loving wife and a great servant of god, before I past the microphone to Mr.Shawn let us read a scripture from the bible and prayer will you guys please stand up let us read Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want

He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still water

He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake

Yea, though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will not fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff the comfort me

Your prepare a table before me on the presence of my enemies you anoint my head with oil my cup runs over

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all day of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the lord forever

Dear heavenly father we are here in your presence today to pay our respect to your servant Mellissa, We pray that you give her family strength in a difficult time like this. The devil going to try to put idea in their head we know you the Almighty All power God. The god that cut the sea in half, the God that created the heaven in the earth. We pray for everybody that is in your presence right now and the others that are on their way, We pray you in the name of Jesus Amen!!

Mr. Shawn the microphone is yours”

After 10 minutes of crying and yelling the ceremony was over. Right now people are walking to the open casket to say there goodbye I was the last one I was just standing there looking at her peaceful face I could hold it anymore I ran out of the church and ran to my car . I stated driving I didn’t even know where I was going I was just driving then I looked in front of me and was a sign that said

“You are now leaving California have a safe trip”