FOR ALL THE GIRLS !

04. entry

[ YOU ARE
THE SERIES OF MISTAKES
THAT HAD TO HAPPEN
FOR YOU
TO FIND YOUR YOU !
— atticus. ]

♡

Dear diary,

What if it'll never work out?

Let's say maybe I was able to get thinner. Achieve my goal. But what if I'm not pretty enough? What if my nose overpowers my whole face. What if, after everything I've worked hard for, the agency I apply to rejects me?

It would've been for nothing.

I found out my friend applied to a modeling agency even though it wasn't what she wanted to do.

She got in.

I mean I'm happy for her. Really happy. But, I feel sad you know? That was my career, the one I wanted to do.

Of course she doesn't know that. I told you right? No one knows. And I'd like to keep it that way.

Do you think life would hate me so much that he'd prevent me from getting what I want?

I mean I kind of have it figured out. I'm going off to uni next fall, and honestly that uni is my backup plan. I'm gonna go for uni, apply to some good agencies there and hopefully get accepted.

Finishing uni and working at a company is my backup plan. My parents think it's my actual plan but it's not.

I'm sorry dad. I don't want to be a banker. And I do admire how cool you are about whoever I can be. But I don't have the courage to tell you what I really wanna be.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.