Black ( Lemon )

Chapter 5

Falling down is an accident
Staying down is a choice
Thegoodquote

Lemon
Upon entering the Umar's house, I saw Dr. Umar, (Daddy, I always called him) standing alone with his hands folded behind his back. "Alone". He was too occupied staring at the gravel at his feet. He looked drained like the world had come crashing on him. His entire build seemed shattered, nothing like the strong man I grew to know. He looked like a broken and sad person. Something was wrong, and it wasn't the house. I had to think straight. Still, where were my parents? I couldn't even think negatively, they must be in the house. I quickly got out of the car even before it had stopped and run to him. He looked at me with a distant expression, like he could see me but couldn't also. He just kept staring.

" Daddy, where are Ummi and Abba? " I asked. He finally left whatever world he had been, blinking and actually seeing me this time. He looked more miserable then, I didn't think that was possible, but he did. Up close I noticed his eyes were red and moist. He'd been crying. His face sagging even more while he looked at me. My mind went blank, something was awfully wrong. He came closer and pulled me into him, startling me.

" Allah had destined this to happen, no one could have saved them....." He was saying. Something liquid dropped on my head. Was he crying? I froze!

" I had hurried. Immediately he called, I went there. I can't believe it. I honestly still can't. There was no way in or out but I was positive I'd get in. I screamed for them over and over but no-one answered my call. The fire truck didn't come early. I finally was able to enter the house after a few minutes, so few am sure it wasn't up to twenty minutes, and there they were. If only I had gotten there earlier. Oh, Allah."

He was crying now. Not just quiet sobs but like a three-year-old. I pulled out of his hands and looked up at him. I was having difficulty breathing. Black was standing beside us now. Rooted to the spot and looking at his Dad like he had grown two heads. This was unbelievable! We both could agree.

" They... They are dead? " I asked Dr. Umar.

Hoping he'd say no. Hoping he'd say they are in the hospital, anything but an affirmation, instead he sank to his feet. For a man his age and the same man I'd known all my life, this was an absurd behavior, but if what he was implying was true then he had every right to do this and worse. He looked up at me.

"Oh Sajdah, I truly wish someone would tell me it's all a dream and I'll wake soon but no. I saw it. I was there. Who better know it than me. I've been working in a hospital for years. I thought it was still possible. I thought it was just the smoke. I thought they were unconscious............."

I didn't let him finish. I just ran off. Heading straight for the guest room, almost knocking off Salim on my way. I didn't even turn back. I needed to be alone. I locked myself in. My eyes were burning. I sat there. My back on the door. I felt the tears slide down my cheek. Dead? Dead! They were Dead! Innalillahi was Inna illaihi raji'un. Oh, Allah. What would I do now? How would I survive? If only we had our phones with us. This was my fault, I thought. Black had suggested we left it in the car. I shouldn't have listened. It was all my fault.

Black
Three months passed and she remained mostly in her room. She only came out to get food. I believed she was stress eating cause she never ate anywhere near that much. I had gone to the room over and over but she wouldn't let me in. I would talk to her for hours through the door but she would never respond. I was hurt too. They were as much as my parents as they were hers.

The times she'd come out, she'd avoid me like a plague. I couldn't hold her so I couldn't stop her and she needed the time to heal. So all I did was watched miserably as she became a shell of herself. No longer as lively as she always was.