My Vow To You

Breathe

AN:- Another update is finally ready for you all and once again I apologise for the extremely long waits I make all you patient people endure as I update.

Before beginning the chapter I wanted to take the time out to thank a special someone who has been my rock throughout many difficult times and has never not even once made me feel unworthy in any way. She's my angel and I love her so so much and I want her to know that a lot of things that I have right now- including my work, would not be possible without her. An inspirational legend should be her name- NO JOKE. She means the world to me and I want everyone to love her just as much as I do as she is so deserving of all the goodness in the world. This chapter is dedicated to her because GOD I FREAKING LOVE HER and she is my universe.

Plushie!!!🙈  I and (cough cough) looooooove you 😏♥️ SOOO SOOO MUCH!!! Keep being you and real because I love you the way you are and I want us to always be. ♥️ THANK YOU FOR COMING INTO MY LIFE ANGEL.

And enjoy this new update because it's for you 😂♥️ 

My spine banging repeatedly into the person's front holding me really hard was what broke me out of my terrorizing trance and I felt a shooting sting rush up my body, the intensity of it sending me into another wave of dizzying pain. I couldn't quite see properly past the white haze of sharp discomfort surrounding me and gingerly petted my temples with nervous hands, trying to drown out the numerous voices speaking.

Why were they all being so loud?!

My palms were shaking from the last relived memory that has shot through me so suddenly and it was so hard to keep myself upright on my own feet, my strength diminishing faster than I thought possible by the very second. Swallowing with difficulty I inhaled deeply through my nose, eyes fluttering close as I forced myself to be strong and snap out of it. Now was not the time, place or company to be having such vividly disturbing flashbacks in.

Wincing, I faintly registered the throbbing in my arms and struggled a little, wanting the tight hold on me to be relinquished. The person holding me however didn't show any sign of releasing their sharp grip over me and my arms were beginning to grow numb as the lack of blood circulation finally caught up with them.

"You're h-hurting m-me." I quietly squeezed the words out my awfully dry and chapped lips. "Let g-go of m-me."

Their hold on my arms was still, despite my pleas to be released, so tight that I was a hundred percent sure that I was going to find bruises there the next time I looked.

"... TaeHee... ba-... hear m-..."

Someone was now shaking me, their face far too close to my own, as they heavily breathed down my tired and still very dazed figure. I looked disorientedly at the planes of their face, the only thing standing out to me was the vividly green colour of their hair that was irritating my eyes because of how bright and in my face it was.

Mumbling incorrigibly I pushed their face away from me, stumbling on my feet slightly. My footing was unsteady and I wobbled on the spot as I attempted to balance myself out.

"Go away." I drawled out, a slur in my voice from the haze I had regretfully lost myself in.

I was unstable on my own and the push I had delivered had been harder than I thought, so when I wobbly stumbled back myself, I expected to fall back down onto the floor, my eyes already squeezed tightly shut but the harsh marble of the floor never met my body. Opening my weary eyes I saw that I was leaning against the chest of the same person I had fallen down on top of and was being held securely towards them, their hands settled snugly yet firmly on my waist.

"Steady there." His voice was soft and baritone; musical in my blurry haze.

"Mhm." I mumbled out painfully yet again, closing my burning hot eyes for a split second more to get a hold of my bearings. 

"Breathe in and out." He urged. "It'll help ease away the discomfort and also hopefully, steady you."

"My chest hurts." I grasped out, a rabid fire burning in my scorched lungs.

"Where?" He softly asked, his hands rubbing the clothed flesh of my hips.

"Every... oh God, everywhere hurts." I mumbled, the desire to sob out loud heavy on my psyche.

"Sshh." He cooed gently in my ear. "Deep breaths. I've got you."

"I...I'm- it's ha-" My voice kept on breaking up, my chest panting erratically with the way I was irregularly breathing.

"Hey, hey, it's okay." He pulled me assuredly into his chest and rubbed soft circles onto my back, keeping me securely held up in his arms. "It's nothing more than your mind playing tricks on you. Focus on my voice and let it bring you back out of this haze."

My body fell unceremoniously in his arms, my mind not even trying to fight it. My chest heaved with panic and fear but the rhythmic feel of his steady heartbeat was lulling in a sense and the pounding in my head steadily began to dull down.

"Breathe in and out, it's all going to be okay. Just keep taking deep breaths. I've got you." His voice was soft and tender in my ears, the presence of his proximity extremely placating for my frazzled nerves.

I followed the man's advice, my chest rising and falling rhythmically with each inhalation and exhalation. Ever so slowly I felt myself finally calming down, the images and thoughts that had triggered my anxiety in the elevator washing away. My panic and pain also softly rubbed out of my mind, the man's cologne and soft words surprisingly enough being the trigger to keep me anchored firmly into reality. His scent, his close proximity was keeping me ground to the floor, ground into the present; something I had ached to be able to do for endless, sleepless years, my tormented mind unable to shut down and sleep off the hardships that had been endured in the past.

The man had continued to softly rub my waist as I took in deep breaths and it was only when my mind fully cleared and my sharp vision came back to me that I realised what was happening and finally looked up properly at him. 

I pushed out his chest instantly, my palms feeling warm from where I had willingly touched him. I glared down at my hands for the strange sensation coursing through them before looking up, plastering my stoic face back onto my face.

"Thanks." I was curt and to the point, feeling deathly embarrassed that I had fallen weak like that.

He frowned lightly at the brisk change in my demeanor before hesitantly smiling gently in my direction. The difference made on the planes of his face as his expressions changed was something I found myself closely watching, the curiosity for human interaction that I thought I had long ago buried arousing within me again.

"No problem." His lips barely moved as he replied and I jolted, his arms on my waist making their hold apparent to me. 

He was still holding me?!

My brows furrowed inconspicuously, a sliver of dread flashing up my spine although the next thought that crossed my mind was even more chilling and I froze completely, my mouth slacking, my pupils dilating and my breath hitching painfully in my emotion clogged throat.

Why wasn't I feeling the same dread I always did when someone touched me? 

Why wasn't my heart sinking to the soles of my feet at his touch?

Why were the feelings of my past resurfacing...?

I looked up at him with muted trepidation, the beating of my horrified heart sounded like a forbearing drum in my ears. A sense of juxtaposed relief mixed with a lacing of dismayed fright pounded thuddingly in my veins. My teeth bit down swiftly onto my lower lip as an automated response, keeping captive the scream of horror that fought mercilessly to wrench out of my trembling lips.

OH GOD... Why?