On Sundays Reamae was just dejecting her self to a complete boredom. Her apartment is quiet big; the interior is usually designed for those who had such strong personality, and yet she chose it. The walls were painted dark mournful colors with vandals everywhere. It doesn’t look tidy neither even girly. If she wasn’t able to come out with Amaryllis to party, rock music became her lullaby ‘til she fell asleep or if not in the mood she’ll just turn off the light and make her head swell thinking of so many things ‘til sleepy head will knock her off.
“What am I gonna do today?” she bellied and messed her hair.
She bowed her head and laid it on the dining table like a lost puppy hungry and tired. The oven just signaled her that the left-over Raviolli pasta was completely heated and ready to fill her empty stomach. Reamae walked lazily and barefooted to get her meal.
*One message received:
“Reamae, aren’t you going with us tonight? Let’s perform again together…it’s been awhile” –Stacey Max.
Stacey Max is the lead guitarist of their band namely “Noxious Velvets”. Back when they where still in 2nd year high school their band became famous not only to the whole school but also to the bars—which will pay them for their performance. There where five members in their old band including Reamae—the lead singer. Daniel Twarts the drummer, Heidi Bent the one playing the bass guitar and Fredd Droe who plays the keyboard. The genre of their music is rock music that could kick your soul out of your eardrums.
In the group, Reamae had a secret crush on Daniel which is Heidi’s boyfriend at that time. She couldn’t stop her heart beating for Daniel. Sometimes, having a crush to someone wouldn’t get too far if you wouldn’t feel that little hope.
One time, while they where on the “Laloovska Bar” Reamae met this girl, Amaryllis Clinton, who couldn’t even manage herself for being drunk. She couldn’t stand with her feet she was obviously dizzy. She wanted to leave the bar and go smoking outside but at that moment when she took Amaryllis in…she’d caught the clue that they’ll become the best of friends. The burden she felt, the secrets, the pains…she had entrusted it all to Amaryllis. It’s hard to find real friends but suddenly in the crowd you’ll see that one face that’ll teach you to stand firm all along.
Reamae then decided to back out in their band. To avoid Daniel and to heal her from the wounds she perceived by faking smiles at the studio, where they often practice, when she was witnessing Daniel and Heidi’s sweetness.
During the day of her birthday she was heartbroken because that time was when Heidi and Daniel, holding hands, confirmed to the whole member of the band that they are in love with each other and they’ll going to enjoy their relationship. She was very sad that she couldn’t take it anymore, her teardrops just fell on the top of the two layered chocolate cake given by Daniel as her head was stagnantly bowed down.
“Sorry guys…I was just very ha…happy!” she wiped her tears by her hands and flash them a smile. It’s the hardest thing to surrender, your happiness. She cried a river, punched the hardest part of her apartment. Back then she swore that no one will hurt her, the same way, again.
For three years, Reamae have had suitors too but all of them ended neglected. She was out of the band too, though, her friends including Daniel asked her to go back but she refused.
Reamae heared through rumors that Heidi and Daniel got married and was blessed with a baby boy…some said they broke up and do both have a stable family life now…but she doesn’t care anymore.
*NV_Stacey Calling…
“Hey…” greets Stacey
“Zup?” asked Reamae…
“You didn’t change! How are you now?”
“Good, you?”
“Same as you…”
“that’s great, is there anything else?” Reamae asked…
“Wouldn’t you really want to perform at the bar tonight? At least just with the two remaining a**holes? Me and Fredd?”
“I couldn’t, I’ll be early for school tomorrow”
“ok ok, I understand…” she turned her phone off..
Back at the dining where the pasta awaits…she plays with her food before eating it but this time she’d lost her appetite and so without thinking twice she threw her food on the trash can and refreshed with a bottle of whiskey…she was biting her lower lips and put her headphones on and played the song… “What Hurts the most” by Rascal Flatts and she sing along.
No matter what she do..the pain from her first love encounter was still embarked on her and the vivid memories still awakes her from always being physically present but mentally absent.
