Hiding in the Advice Column

21

I let out a small groan as my eyes fluttered awake. I was slightly uncomfortable and a bit stiff as I looked over to the bed Rowan was on. He was still asleep.

Blinking several times, I rubbed my eyes as I tried to get them to focus more.

"Morning." I heard the soft whisper. Who else is here?

I turned my head and noticed I was leaning up against Ryder, his arm around my shoulder. I jolted upright, brushing the hair off my face.

"You know, it's okay to fall asleep on me, but I would recommend a bed next time." Ryder joked.

"There won't be a next time." I snapped quietly to him as I got up. I moved to the chair closer to Rowan as I looked at my phone. 7:15am. Three text messages and a Facebook message.

I answered them and looked back at Rowan. He had some colour back in his cheeks, looking so angelic while he slept.

I couldn't believe I fell asleep against Ryder, but I don't remember that. Maybe I didn't and leaned against him in my sleep.

The last thing I remembered last night was thinking to myself that maybe Ryder and I could be friends. For Rowan.

Then it hit me. I do have an assessment, maybe that's what I can do it on. The aftermath of a divorce, it's impact on adults and children.

"Rhea. Can we talk." Ryder called to me as I turned my eyes to him. Inwardly groaning, I got up off the chair and went outside the room.

"Would you like a coffee?"

"Is that what you wanted to talk about?" I whispered.

"Well, no. You win."

I blinked several times. "I won? Won what?" I watched the emotions play on Ryder's face as he took my hand.

I felt the emotions crawl in to me. Sadness and loss and grief. I did my best not to cry, it was overwhelming.

"I know you don't want us to work out. I've been fighting for us, I've given you space to think about it and I've been trying not to overwhelm you with this."

I was overwhelmed. Am I feeling Ryder's emotions? I didn't feel like this seconds ago. I was feeling worried and concerned, not grief.

"I'm going to let you have it your way. You have been trying to tell me that you've moved on and I didn't want to believe you. I wasn't ready to move on. Not since our apparent divorce."

I was too shocked to say anything.

"If you want a divorce, I'll give it to you. If you want to have relationships with other people, that's fine. Just as long as I can still keep seeing Rowan."

I couldn't believe my ears. "Are you serious?" I croaked out.

"I'll be happy, even if I pick up and drop off Rowan, at least I get to see you still."

I looked in to Ryder's eyes, searching for something. But all I found was the truth.

"I still love you, Rhea. But I'm not going to hold you back and keep you if it makes you miserable."

I tried asking where did all this come from, but I was speechless. Ryder actually listened to me.

Ryder let my hands go as he stepped back. "I'll go get those coffees." He said as he spun around, walking away, his back to mine.

I was left there wide eyed as I watched him disappear from the hall.

But the emotions that plagued me stayed and it took me a couple more minutes to realise that I wasn't feeling Ryder any more. The emotions belonged to me.