Of All the Things that I Don't Know (Spot Conlon + OC)

Chapter 4

There had been many quarrels between Jack Kelly and myself, varying greatly in importance and physicality, throughout the two years we had been together. Yet, for some reason, one in particular stood out to me, and surprisingly, the rationale behind its firm placement in my memory had little to do with the actual argument that had transpired. What had truly been striking regarding that event, was a conversation between my mother and myself the following evening. I remember her kind, beautiful face exuding warmth to me during our work day at the store. Although my mother had always been a genuinely affectionate person, I had thought her behavior unusual at the time. Perhaps the reason I took such notice that day was due to another emotion resting gently under the surface of her customary glow. There had appeared to be a sadness intermingled with her loving gaze and it had given me pause.

I remembered at the end of the work day, she had gently pulled me aside while my father had been engrossed with balancing the ledger in the back of the store.

"Katherine," she had said gently, resting her hand on my arm as I distractedly dusted off some of the shelves with a wet rag. When I had looked into her face, my eyes tired from a long night of tears and anger, I remember being taken aback by the severity that her gaze had suddenly taken on.

"Mother," I had responded shakily, feeling confusion and panic fill me at her very atypical expression.

Although I had withheld all information regarding my relationship with Jack Kelly from my parents, I had felt that, on some level, my mother was very aware of what had been developing between Jack and myself over the year and a half we had been together. She had always been an extremely perceptive woman, a trait that she had graciously passed on to me, so I had often felt fearful that she knew about my lies and deception and had been waiting for a good time to breach the subject with me.

I remember silently cursing myself for not being more careful, and then swiftly preparing for the stern lecture I felt I was surely about to receive. However, her next words had had nothing to do with Jack, causing more anxiety and uncertainty to fill me.

She had said lightly, "I'm not sure I've ever told you about the man that I was engaged to before I met your father."

I had simply shaken my head, her unexpected statement rendering me speechless.

"Well, my darling, you know your grandparents were always keen on me marrying someone of more means," she had said with a slight smile.

I had nodded knowingly in response. Although my mother's parents had been a central part of our lives for as long as I could remember, I knew that they had initially been less than pleased with my mother's choice of husband. It had been vital for my mother, having been born into a family of great wealth, to achieve certain things that were customary for a woman of her station. And the one expectation that was of the utmost importance to fulfill was that she marry a suitable partner within the same class as herself.

However, my mother had always been a headstrong girl, much to my grandmother's dismay and my grandfather's amusement. So when she had belligerently settled upon my father as her choice, a man of inappropriate prospects, I could only imagine the outrage it had caused. I had always been slightly surprised that it had been allowed to take place at all, and that my mother's parents, even amidst their complete disapproval of the situation, had grown to admire my father and become very involved with their grandchildren. I knew many other families that would have certainly disowned their daughter for such actions, or, more commonly, forced her to marry someone of their choosing, regardless of her preference.

"Well, I suppose no one mentions that unfortunate event for good reason, my love," my mother had continued, breaking through my thoughts.

When I met her eyes again, she had quietly continued, "A young man of, what my parents called at the time, an appropriate social standing, took an interest in me shortly after my seventeenth birthday. And all appeared normal. He seemed well-educated, clever and thoroughly in love with me, so I had no complaints." I saw another soft smile grace my mother's lips as she paused, her eyes in a distant place and time.