Of All the Things that I Don't Know (Spot Conlon + OC)

Chapter 22

Spot had always known on some conscious level that continually seeking out Katherine Moore throughout her two-year long relationship with Jack Kelly had been a somewhat risky, if not wholly stupid idea. But he had still gone through with it anyway, time and again. Seeing her bright green eyes bare into his challengingly and hearing her melodic voice softly relay her genuine thoughts and feelings had not only become a consistent requisite for his weekly itinerary, but had also immediately overruled any guilt he had initially felt in regards to Jack's discomfort. And this had been a completely unexpected development as far as his original intentions with Kate were concerned. She had presented herself as a somewhat perplexing creature that had seemed to require a more formal investigation from Spot, but he had expected that upon satisfying these lingering curiosities, he would come to think nothing more about her. Jack, on the other hand, had been a close friend of Spot's for years, not to mention a staunch supporter of his rule over Brooklyn from the beginning, so this sudden reordering of his priorities had appeared to be nothing short of insanity. And for the first few months of his time spent with Kate, Spot had grappled relentlessly with what reasoning, if any, had led him to stand so firmly on this sudden amendment of precedence.

He had considered that it, in part, must have involved his own stubborn insistence of self determination. That he, Spot Conlon, leader of the infamous Brooklyn newsboys, should be able to do whatever he damn well pleased whenever he damn well felt like it. So of course he had been inherently resistant to the idea of Kate being, in any way, off limits to him. But upon furthering this line of thinking, he had slowly realized that accepting this very same unspoken mandate before, when Jack had been with Sarah Jacobs, had never inspired even an inkling of ethical dissention. And after the first several planned encounters he had had with Kate in the streets of Manhattan, he had known that his reasons were far more complicated than he had initially considered.

Kate had been inexplicably engaging, so much so that in their time together, he had found himself not only focusing on her womanly figure and the strangely enticing way that she bit her bottom lip, but also the actual sentiments she was imparting to him. No other woman had interested him in such a way before, even the ones that he had regarded as important enough to spend time and effort pursuing. And perhaps this had to do with the fact that he had finally been forced into a position where his main goal could not be to immediately smooze Kate into bed with him. But he soon found that even beyond the excitement this self-imposed restraint incited, there had been something more than just the thrill of the chase continually bringing him back to Kate's intriguing company.

To be sure, Spot had, as a rule, never pursued a woman with even the slightest whisper of commitment to another man before. Because, if there was one thing he despised more than anything else, it was willful deceit. This was not to say, however, that he had ever had any delusions about the true nature of his character. While he had been unfailingly honest with the girls he had been with, ensuring that they knew his intentions would never grow into any sort of lasting investment, he had also easily been able to wash his hands of the guilt directed at him if his warnings went unheeded. So, benevolent gentleman he had never been, but "adulterer" had also not been an identity that he had played any part in acquiring either. And, truthfully, he had never run into a situation where he had been confronted with this moral dilemma before his time spent with Katherine Moore. Thus, even though he had felt himself physically pulled to Kate almost instantly, he had done everything in his power to restrain the natural urges within him, for she had been Jack's after all. But Kate-Kate had never fit nicely into any of his usual schemas, and he had found himself, for some reason, thoughtlessly loosening his once very strict standards with surprising speed after starting a habitual familiarity with her.

Yet, if he had to pinpoint an exact interaction that had been the commencement of his slow but steady deviation from this norm with women, he didn't have to look far. He had easily been able to work his way back and settle on what had seemed like a completely innocuous conversation with Kate at the time. But now, years past the incident, he could clearly see just how affected he had been by Kate's formidable presence, even at the start. He had never before in his life felt so stirred by a woman's company, and he had immediately, almost viscerally, responded to the clarity and warmth her companionship offered by being unable to cease regularly seeking her out.