Book of One-Shots

friends (OLD & OUTDATED)

I want you all to sit down

listen to me

and imagine this

having an internet best friend. one you get along with so well. they're nice, they talk to you, they draw, and they're a really good friend

they knew how you were sad, even if it was mostly your edgy younger self overreacting at the stupidest things. they've defended you in an issue that caused you to be really upset and want to stop doing something you enjoy. they weren't the best person, but not the worst either. but they were your best friend for life, or so that's what they said

now imagine. seven months into the friendship, there's a small argument. it started on facebook in a fan group for a show, then, at the same time someone there is being rude to you, you're talking to that friend in another comment chain outside the group

a while after it leaves the comment section, it goes to your group chat. they spam unfunny jokes about serious events, and after a while of asking them to stop, they get removed from the chat and you unfriend them

after a week or two, you find them on deviantart, and apologize. they accept it, though there's a slight tension between you two. then, a while later, a new show airs. you love it, but your friend seems to hate it. then, they make a post stating how much they hate it, and, for some stupid reason, that was the point where you get upset

you explain in a stupid way why they shouldn't insult it because it was your favorite show. then, after some time, they say something back to you that upsets you so much

it gets worse from that point on

it goes to facebook later in the day where later on they block you. over the course of the next few days,  you had to get a friend to dig the other friend's profile to find they're mom's account. you have it, and you tell their mom

then, it goes to wattpad that same day. it's a mess there, and their mom finally gets the message while it's going on. it's over, the end

but you still feel bad

about a month later, you have your wattpad followers deliver a message to then that you're unable to do yourself. they get the message, and it's okay

but it wasn't

stupidly, you decide to comment on their youtube videos, trying to apologize. say you're sorry, say you miss them. you feel bad about doing it, but it's the only thing you can do to feel better

after a while, they unblock you on wattpad to tell you they're making a video about you. you think it's going to be good, but boy, were you wrong

it's awful. words couldn't describe the pain you felt. your chest felt heavy, and every time it crossed your mind for a brief moment, it made your chest hurt. you make a response video, and you cry in the middle of it. you can't help but cry, it's all you could do

a while later, you tell their mom, who's still on your facebook messenger somewhere, what happened. they took the video down, and they apologized

it should've been better

it wasn't

you still feel bad. you still make comments even though they obviously blocked you. one day, you have a friend try to cheer you up. they have a friend of their own on facebook that is friends with your old friend. they add them to a group chat, and you're in there as well, trying to talk to them

that was a mistake

they go and comment on your videos, deleting them afterwards to keep you from replying. this upsets you, but you know it's your fault for pissing them off. you make a video, then, a few days later, they comment on yours with a link to one of their own

they apologize again. you only assume some people told them off, but you don't know for sure

then, they took down their channel

you feel bad. it was a pattern. on and off, on and off, every month for a small amount of time, you felt terrible. you felt so, so awful, but there was nothing to do. it affected you in school, and you'd get in trouble for not responding to anyone. it was so bad but nothing you could do

you couldn't tell anyone about how you were feeling. your body wouldn't let you. any time you want to, you feel something holding you back and making it impossible to tell them. you couldn't do it, so nobody knew about it. nobody at all

then, one day, you receive a comment on a video stating the old friend has a channel under a different name. you start freaking out, you're scared of what will happen. you look up the channel of the user who commented, and found out that they're the person you used to be friends with

they comment on your videos occasionally, and would delete them. it upset you. you made a video, asking them to stop and saying how it upset you. they comment, but don't delete it. you have a small conversation with them, and after a bit, it seems somewhat okay

there's still issues of commenting, but  it's not too much of a problem

then, after a bit of things being somewhat okay, something happens

you think they're hating on you, disliking every single one of your videos with multiple accounts. it makes you upset, and you do the same to them. you take a small break from youtube, making a video explaining it

they comment on it. telling you to breathe. you're confused, after all, they hate you, why would they comment that? later, you find out it's not them disliking your videos, and then, they comment on another video and you comment on one of there's saying you thought it was them doing it. of course though, you're blocked

you find out their instagram. you make a new account, and comment on one of their posts and say the same thing there you said in the comments. you do what they did, and delete them afterwards. you go through their posts, commenting on one every so often

a while later, you still feel bad. you make a vent video, explaining everything and how it's your fault you're not friends anymore. they comment, but they didn't watch the video

it goes downhill from there

you've had a habit of checking their instagram often to make sure they're not talking about you. then, you find out they made a video about you

another one

you make a video, linking back to it. you tell everyone, hoping that your friends will convince them to take it down or to report it. of course, it didn't work. they make fun of everyone defending you, they won't listen

after a while, once again, they take down their channel, and you realize they're a big hypocrite

the next week, you find out they made a post about you and one of your friends, and that's it. you make one last post, trying to end it all, and you hope it works. that's supposed to be the end

you're fine

but you're not

you feel mad at them. upset. knowing they don't deserve anything. you can't deny you still care, and you think they might care a bit too still despite seeming to lose hope of being friends again one day

you still can't seem to let it go. you don't know why, you're doing so well. but there's still something that can't let any of it go. you two still have so much in common, but they've became a hypocrite and someone that takes every little thing as an insult

you want to let it go completely, but you can't

you really can't