Sometimes you have a revelation
Mine usually come when my hormones are high on fumes
Fumes of stress and worry that turns into a sort of cynical humor.
This humor, although makes me more light-hearted around others, still carries my irritation
This irritation is more towards myself than towards others
I find irritation in my own existence
So when I recently experienced this sensation if you will call it that
I had a revelation, well sorta
I was tired of being me
I was tired of school and work and feeling unsatisfied for no good reason
And I realized that I wanted something more, as I always do
but this time around
I wanted something extravagant and lavishing
And I realized why some people turn to sugar daddies or mommies because then you can feel lavished and extravagant all while getting paid and not having to deal with the mundane tasks of the world cycle called life
I also realized and wondered if some psychoanalysis would reap any benefits for me as I was feeling dissatisfied
Now you don't always have to feel dissatisfied, sometimes that feeling numbs away and you carry on with life, but eventually, it comes back
As I felt this dissatisfaction
I realized, well I imagined myself telling these things I felt to a psychiatrist
To this psychiatrist I told, how one person could have nothing yet feel satisfied and how another could have plenty and also feel satisfied, but how it could also be reversed, where no matter what you did, materialistically or socially one could still be dissatisfied, no matter how little you had or how much you had it was not enough
Never enough
So now I wonder, how can you reverse this very Americanized characteristic?
But is this just an American characteristic, or does it come down to the individual, that no matter where you live or were raised, this feeling may persist
What changes can we created to elevate ourselves and distant our selves from this heavyweight
Why is it that we feel dissatisfaction? is it just human nature?
Buddhism would argue that it is human nature, but how we must overcome these desires to reach enlightenment
Is dissatisfaction the result of wanting more?
Or is it simply that what we have is not enough?
I also pondered on the words satisfied and fulfilled or filled and paralleled it to eating, one can be full after eating but this does not mean that they are satisfied with what they have eaten
Or one can be satisfied with very little, and not be full
but are full and fulfilled the same?
You often hear people say you have fulfilled your destiny, or you reached your potential, this in itself seems that after the fact that you have fulfilled whatever task was at hand, you must find another one
This plays into the complex of satisfaction, you will not find satisfaction unless your hands are full
I believe it is all in ones mentality
So, I ask you now, how can we escape the construct of satisfaction?
