There's a lot of different types.
They hit you a lot of different ways.
For any number of reasons.
For me it's stress. And more stress. Plus a lot more stress. Multiplied by MORE STRESS.
Self-invalidation too. Old habits die hard. I had to teach myself how to expect it. How to just deal with it. Unfortunately, I could never teach myself how to get over it. Plus you can't just stop learned behaviors simply because its "safer".
She.
Her.
DEADNAME.
*pang*
*stab*
*wrench*
*silence*
Silence. What is wrong with me? Why can't I say something? Anything?
How am I supposed to expect other people to use my name and pronouns if I'm too weak to ever say anything? Why have I done this to myself?
I keep waking up more tired than when I fell asleep. I don't ever want to get up for school anymore. I do, but not for myself. I never do anything for myself. I don't know how.
My muscles are so heavy. I feel so weak all the time. My last race was terrible.
My senses are so sensitive and unfocused. Everything is so loud and bright and I can't focus my eyes, ever. My ribcage cramps and stabs and leaves me gasping for air and it's because of my own mother.
No matter what I do to try to better myself, I'm not gaining any ground. I'm just so tired.
I'm not sure what to do. Something needs to let up.
There's more, but I'll stop here.
~~~~
Be true, stay you ❤❤
~Day Dreamer~
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Living the Non-Binary Life
RandomMy maybe-not-so-horrible-anymore-right-now life. I attempted to add as many tags as I could when I tried to think about details of myself I wanted to mention. I'll keep it as clean as possible and only mention the more...triggering content only as a...
