Living the Non-Binary Life

28.) Broken

For thirteen years of my life, I thought I was broken.

During the summer of 2014, my dad sat me down on the couch, and he told me "You have cerebral palsy."

All of my hatred and detestation for my body turned into utter respect. Now, whenever I get impatient or upset with myself, I tell myself "Your body is doing it's best."

I respect my parents decision to keep it from me for so long. They had good intentions.

That year I joined the track team for the first time. For five years I ran in both track and cross country competitively, until early May. I was told that I have a compression fracture in my spine, and that I could no longer run. I had to take leave off of work because I can no longer lift heavy objects, and that was my entire job. I could no longer even participate in gym class.

I was practicing for steeplechase and ended up scorpioning on the track. There was a pop that I didn't like along with the usual cracks and pops.

I raced the next night, and got horrible times.

The weekend went by, and then I went to my doctor and got an x-ray done. I ran for one more day until halfway through practice the next day they told me the results.

It's honestly so depressing. I have so much appreciation for the fact that I can love running as much as I do, but now I can't do it until August.

I can feel my limbs; legs, arms, even my hands and fingers, curling further in on themselves now that my muscles are weaker.

I miss it so much, but I'm still grateful that running is still a possibility for me.

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Be true, stay you ❤❤

~Day Dreamer~