Desolation

Chapter eleven

Michael
  I was in the waiting room. As much as I despised Eve for how she had torn our family apart when I got the call that she'd gone into labour, I couldn't stay away. I wasn't in the delivery room like I was when our two girls were delivered but I was still going to wait outside. We had agreed to take a paternity test once the baby was born and it was one more thing to be nervous about. I was so sure I had worn a hole on the floors of the waiting room but I couldn't stop pacing. It was still every bit as nerve-wracking as the first two times I'd expected a child. Every time a nurse or a doctor came my way, it took all my energy not to run to them. Someone finally came to talk to me, Eve had a boy. I was shown to the room and in that instance, I wished on every star there was that the child be mine. I loved my girls to death but it was every man's dream to have a child they could do boy things with. I looked down at the boy and thought he looked just like Ivy when she was born, but maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part. I still had well over a month to find out if I was the father of the child. I looked at Eve and took her hand in mine. I didn't know what the future held but I knew that I would always support her no matter the results of the test.
   It felt like we were a family again until John walked in. It was never good to see him, he always had bad news; at least for me. I didn't even need to ask the man what he wanted, it was the same thing I wanted. He too, like me had been with Eve and was hoping the child was his. I hated to think that she had let another man touch her that way. She had defiled our matrimonial bed and every time I thought we were a family again, John showed up to remind me that I had lost that exclusive right. I quietly excused myself from the room. Eve tried to get me to stay but I couldn't help but feel like I was the one intruding. I didn't know the nature of the relationship they'd had but I knew that I was no longer a part of that equation.
   It had been a brutal few months. I thought I could move on like nothing had happened or at least with minimal damage but I had no such luck. Life was hard without my family. I still got to see my daughters as much as I could but something inside of me was broken, I knew that. My friend had been telling me about this new help group that was for people in the same situation I was but I'd been brushing him off. It felt like it was something recovering alcoholics would go to, since when did people who were dealing with the aftermath of a broken home have a support group? And in Nigeria? What exactly were they going to tell me that I hadn't heard before? But at the rate I was going, I needed help. Going back to Eve was not going to work because I just knew that I was never going to be able to trust her again but how was I expected to move forward? I decided to give it a thought, if I didn't like it the first day I went, I would never go back. What did I have to lose?
   My life was progressing slowly. I was working hard to take my mind off of things but that was the only thing I was doing. One month had passed by a week and finally, the doctor was calling. She suggested I go in to pick up the results of the test but I didn't have the patience. I made her tell me the results over the phone, after a lot of convincing, of course. I didn't think I had it in me to make the drive and be disappointed. I would most likely crash my car.
   I didn't hear anything past congratulations. I almost fainted with joy and relief. I had a baby boy that I'd refused to name because I wasn't sure he was mine. Eve had decided to call him Jake. I wondered if rhyming his name with mine was going to make him my son but now I was glad she did. I had a boy and I was going to be a great father to him. Father didn't always mean husband but I was learning to accept that. I finally went to one of those meetings, it was refreshing to see how other people in similar situations dealt with their grief and moved on. I was definitely going back by the time one month was over.
  I called Eve and gave her the news. She wanted me to come back home so we could work on our marriage but I didn't know if that was in the cards for me. I couldn't imagine leaving her alone at home, all I would think about was who was keeping her company while I was away. I refused to admit it at first but I realized it now, Eve couldn't handle being married to me. She was one for adventure and she needed someone who could be with her and keep her on her toes, not be away all the time. I had wanted to cut down on my working hours for the longest time but I couldn't afford to be my own boss yet. I needed to make a lot more to able to kick back and relax and she obviously couldn't wait for me so I decided that the best to do would be to end it where it was. If she ever needed to get married and she couldn't handle three children with her new husband, I was more than happy to take them. I wasn't going to take her to court and fight for their custody, we could work something out between the two of us. Nobody needed to get any more hurt. I left her with the house and we settled on what I was going to give her monthly by ourselves. She wasn't willing to compromise on what she came up with and even though it the amount was a little high, I wasn't going to skip any month. She was raising three of my children and I would ever be grateful. I even loved her still, but I got to finally understand what people meant when they said love wasn't always enough. It certainly wasn't enough to keep Eve and I together. Life wasn't great but with each day that passed, I felt it get better.
   I was late for my group meeting so I stood at the back. The first time I attended they'd asked me to say something but I didn't feel like talking to a bunch of strangers yet so I declined. This time I just introduced myself and left it at that. One day I'd be ready to talk but it wasn't the time. All through class, I noticed this really pretty woman looking at me. I heard she'd come up with the idea of group counselling but for the life of me, I couldn't remember her name. After the class, I said my goodbyes and was on my way when I noticed her leaning against the staircase leading outside. I walked up to her and extended my hand.
"Hi, I'm Michael."
"Katherine" she gave me the prettiest smile I'd seen in a while and immediately knew that I wanted to see her again.
"Let me walk you to your car, Kate."
The End.