I'd wait forever (CAMREN)

Part 3

Wait what they know? omg they know. What am I gonna do should I tell them or should I lie my way out of this. Might as well tell them because if I try and deal with this on my own I will go insane.

Of course the tears started again

"I f-fucked up big time" I said

"why what happened, does this have something to do with why you and Lucy look like shit" Dinah asked me 

"sh-she came into my room cry-crying about Lucy and I just snapped a-a-and I told her she's stupid and L-Lucy doesn't love her and do-don't come crying to me ev-ever again, then sh-sh-she slapped me and ran out of my room and then I-I-I went to sleep crying and when I woke up I remembered what happened last night s-so I trashed my room and then ran an-an-and I kept running until I saw her and I tried to keep my cool but I was just so pissed so I punched her then we started fighting then she knocked me out and I-I-I woke up hours later and went home and of course my mom was awake and yelling and turns out Lucy was quick to tell Lauren so she jumped on me and started punching me, then my mom sent us to our room and when I was walking she swung me around and said she hat-" I tried to finish but it was just too much so I cried and cried for what felt like hours 

When I was finally able to form coherent sentences I finished

"When she swung me around she looked me in the eyes and said she hates me and that she wishes she never met me" I said as calmly as possible because I knew that if I got worked up again I would start crying 

"I've ruined everything guys" I said barley above a whisper

"Look babes, you fucked up ok but she's not just gonna not forgive you. Yeah right now she's mad and upset but eventually she will realize who Lucy really is and she'll forgive you but right now you gotta keep your head up and try and pretend you're ok. She's mad at you and she won't talk to you so why don't you do the same thing, ignore her. She'll realize she actually needs you. Just give it time" Dinah said

And what she said was right I need to act like nothing happened I just have to accept the fact that I can't have her.

Ever.

THREE MONTHS LATER

Its been three months since I flipped on Lucy and its been normal, well as normal as ignoring your sister who you are in love with can get.

This has honestly been the worst months of my life. I'm trying to pretend that I'm not affected by what Lauren said but I can't, its the only thing that's been on my mind. Her words have been repeating in my mind over and over again. it's the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I hear when I go to sleep

I hate you 

I needed to do something to try and forget so I did the one thing I knew how to do best, which was let my feeling out in a song so I grabbed my guitar and started singing 

  The love of your life,she's treating you wrong
You stand by her side,she lies all alone
It's the fairy tale you want, but the glimmer in your eyes have gone
And now you're alone, I'll lend you my shoulder to cry on

I won't let you down, this time around
I'll show you how, how
No matter how far, don't care where you are
I won't let you down

Thanks for the tears, the pain that you caused, oh
And know you're just a memory, an old familiar melody she's heard before
It's a fairy tale you ended, done with you pretending you're the fool, oh you're the fool
And now she's alone, I'll give her my hand to hold on to

I won't let you down, this time around
And I'll show you how, how
And no matter how far, don't care where you are
I won't let you down

And I see it now, my eyes are open
I'm all yours, tears have spoken
I can't fix all that is broken
My feet on the ground
But I won't let you down, this time around
I'll show you how
No matter how far

But I won't let you down, this time around
And I'll show you how, how
No matter how far, don't care where you are
I won't let you down  

I opened my eyes and turned around when I heard sniffling behind me. Turns out Lauren had been watching the entire time 

wow she looks so beautiful right now

I wasn't sure if I should be happy or mortified but I definitely started feeling scared when I saw her walking up to me with an unreadable expression on her face

"Look you were right, I don't know why I hadn't listened to you in the first place. I just wanted to say I'm sorry and that I didn't mean anything I said I was just really upset, but that does not excuse me for what I did and I really hope you can forgive me" she said sincerely 

And this is the first time I understood why Lauren would always forgive Lucy. When you really love someone its so easy to just forget everything and forgive them and I know I shouldn't but I can't help but forgive her.

"Look don't beat yourself up ok, I've accepted that this was my fault. I should have approached things differently and I understand now that you love her and I shouldn't have been so mean to you about it. I was just so mad that no matter how many times she hurt you, you forgave her so easily but you love her and I just have to hope she'll change" I said quietly 

"What?, no she won't and I see that now. I just... I guess I had these rose tinted glasses on way too long and when I was forced to take them off and I finally saw things for the way they were, I kinda flipped which is why I said what I said. She didn't even treat me like she loved me and I just wanted to thank you for finally making me see who she really is, but look I'm so sorry camila I never meant any-" she tried to continue but the tears quickly took over so I just comforted her

"I love you" I barley said above a whisper  

"I love you too" she said back

If she only knew how much I really loved her

Well at least she forgave me and we were on good terms 

That would soon change