Without You

I love you

"I'm sorry but you're not my type. You're too boring. I can't tolerate you anymore. Let's break up."says Sam. " Sam please don't say that. I promise I will change myself. You'll never be embarrassed because of me again. Please just one more time." Poor Lyra begs, seeing her relationship crumbling again. She is thin. Her skin is so pale that one might wonder whether she has blood under them or not. Her hair is brown and shoulder length. She has bangs on her face that covers her forehead completely. Her large light brown eyes are magnificent except for the fact that they are not clearly visible through those thick glasses. Her lips are beautiful but dry. She is wearing a tank top and an open red and black check shirt and a denim jeans. She is carrying a backpack of rust green colour. She is carrying 2-3 books in her hand. Despite having all those 'not so extraordinary' features, she still looks cute. "Why do you even want to be in a relationship? You always care about your studies only. And you always freak out whenever I try to hug you or kiss you, let alone the sex. I can't be in such relationship. " "Sam, but I, I.... I....." "Yeah, I'm listening. What you?" "Sam I...." "You can't even express your feelings to me Lyr. I'm sorry and I love you a lot but... We are just not made for each other. Goodbye." Sam says and leaves Lyra alone."I... I love you", She whispers as she falls on her knees and broke into tears.
She notices so many eyes staring at her, something she can never tolerate. She hates being the centre of attention. It haunts her. She feels suffocated. She quickly stands up, wipes her tears and moves to somewhere peaceful. She comes to the garden of the college and sits on the nearest bench. "Really! Why do you even think I'll date you. You are so boring. God! Which Era are you living in. Why can't you dress up like a girl. Such a bookworm. I'll never date anyone like you. I'm done with you. I'm breaking up." These voices are repeating themselves in Lyra's mind. She had experienced a lot of rejection and breakups. But this time... This time it is different. Sam is different. It feels like her first break-up in middle school. Sam was the only one who dated her for nearly a month. He cared for her a lot. He always tried to know what's in her mind. But she messed it all, she thought. "Why am I like this?" She is repeating this over and over again in her mind. No matter how much she wanted to kiss Sam or atleast just hug him, her anxiety always came in way. He was right. They are not made for each other. Sam is too good to be with her. Lyra tries to convince herself with it. But her heart knows how much she is hating herself right now. The only person who made her feel important has left her.

Lyra is a shy, introvert girl. She was not always like this. Her childhood was not very good. Her father was alcoholic. He always used to beat her mother, fight, shout, abuse. As soon as his father returned home Lyra used to get in the bed and hide herself in a blanket. She used to get so afraid. She pretended she was not listening anything. But the morning was always cheerful for her. Her father used to wake up late in the morning. Her mother was a housewife. After all these torture for so many years she was still tolerating her husband, only for her little angelic daughter. Because she wanted her daughter to have all those happiness she never had. The only money earner in her family was her husband and without him they would have been on road, starving. Her mother used to wake her daughter up with the best smile, as she had not been tortured all night. After having breakfast, Lyra used to go school. She was a cheerful child. With her beautiful smile, no one could ever say how frightened that child was the night before. She had a lot of friends. She didn't like studying and always liked playing outdoor games with friends after school. When returned home, she would not stop speaking, even while eating, taking bath, watching her mom doing household chores. She only stopped when she had shared all the details of the day. Her happy life used to change into nightmare when the clock hit 8. She used to have dinner and get in the bed. That's when her father would return home. It was not that bad untill she was 9. One night, when she was hiding in her blanket, her father started shouting her name. She heard heavy footsteps approaching her room, and light one behind it. She heard her mother pleading to stop. His father entered the room, pushed her mother outside and locked the room. She only remember that she was hurt so badly, there was something inside her and her mother was screaming, pleading, crying, hitting the door with all her strength as if trying to break it. Lyra screamed with all her strength and then everything was black. She was lucky to blackout as she had not felt anymore pain until the next morning. That morning was not even close to being cheerful. When she opened her eyes, her head was so heavy. Her whole body felt like it had been torned apart. She felt her mother's hand on her cheek. Her mother was crying. She was so young to understand what happened that night but it changed her forever. Her father continued abusing her physically and mentally. Her mother could not do anything. She had no choice but to see her daughter being tortured and crying. "Everything will be ok someday" was the only thing she could say to her daughter to console her. Lyra started having anxiety. She would always get freaked out whenever anyone was to close to her or touched her. She lost all her friends. She started being alone. When she was 14, her father was found dead on the roadside probably because of the excess consumption of alcohol. She was actually happy to found that. Her agony would finally be over. But her problems were not over yet. The burdene of the household was now on her mother's shoulder. Her mother started working as a maid but could only earn as much to feed her daughter and herself. Lyra had to study hard to get scholarship and continue school. This was the only way she could improve her family's condition. Even after so many years, she is not yet over with her anxiety problem. She still have no friends. People only tagged her along sometimes to get her notes and she has no problem with it.

She is so lost in her thoughts that she has no idea that the most handsome boy of the college is sitting beside her on the same bench....