Red vs Blue Season 7: Male Oc

Rvb S7 E8 "Directions"

Valhalla/Blue Base
To Simmons and Wade with Zeta hovering over his shoulder, standing inside of Blue Base with Caboose equipment laying everywhere.

Simmons: What the hell is all this stuff?

Wade: It's Caboose's project.

Donut: (Enters) Oh, there you two are! Hey Simmons, did you blow up the base yet?

Wade: He's not going to get a chance to do that.

Simmons: Whatever. What's Caboose even working on?

Zeta: He's trying to rebuild a body for his "Best Friend" of his.

Donut: ...eh, looks like a piece is missing though.

Simmons: For the dead guy. Gimme a break. No wonder no one ever wins this war. We're all doing stuff like building lame robots.

Wade: Umm, Simmons?

Simmons: (Annoyed) What!

Wade simply points behind himself to where Lopez is standing.

Simmons: Oh, hey... Lopez. Uh, I didn't mean you, I meant other... robots...

Lopez takes off.

Zeta: That was kind of racist, Simmons... I feel offended myself.

Simmons: (Chases after Lopez) I'm not racist! That's not true! I have all kinds of mechanical friends!

Wade: Don't worry Zeta, your not some lame robot to me.

Zeta: (Smiles) Thanks Wade!

SandTrap
To the reds and Caboose, all out of their vehicles and standing in the mine field.

Intercom: Just... just give me the microphone. (Over the intercom) Do not, under any circumstances, move. You have entered an active mine field.

Caboose: Does thinking count as moving. Because if it does, I think I might've moved—up! I did again.

Leo: Caboose, could you be more quiet please!

Caboose: Well, I don't want to get exploded!

Sarge: How do we get outta here?

Intercom: We will guide you out.

Sarge: Great! Let us wait for you to come out here then!

Intercom: What? ...no, fuck that, listen! We're not coming out there, okay? Hang tight. We're gonna upload the schematics... we'll be right back. Don't. Move.

Sarge: Grif! What were you thinking driving us straight into a mine field!?

Grif: Me? You were in the passenger seat. That makes you the navigator!

Sarge: What are you talking about?

Grif: Everybody knows that. You're in charge of directions!

Sarge: No! The shotgun seat is reserved for the position of respect. And for people who carry shotguns. (Holds up shotgun) See? (Makes a clicking noise) Quid pro quo. Now Grif, here's the plan. You walk in front of us, very slowly.

Grif: No.

Sarge: If you hear anything that sounds like a small metallic click, or feels like your legs are being blown off, just say, "Found one!"