Chapter Eight

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After hours of crying, Johnny came over. "Anniepie? How long have you been awake?" I look at him and explain my dream in between sobs. "Hey, it's okay. It's just a dream," he assured. "I know, but it always feels so real! Every nightmare I have, I always think the guy's gonna get us again and kill you." The last thing I wanted to tell Johnny was if he died, I'd sit by his grave and wait to die of hunger and thirst. I want to, but I'm not sure how he'd react. "Shhhh, it's okay. Wanna go outside and watch the sunrise?" I nodded, calming down.

We go outside as I start staring at the sky. I like how the colors all look at if God painted it. The pink, purple, orange, and yellow all blend into each other and create a masterpiece. Sunsets and sunrises always calm me down from the world, but mostly sunrises. They remind me how behind every darkness, there's a masterpiece. They remind me that there are thousands of Socs in the world, but the one that's been on my mind for four months is now gone. Today, the sunrise tells me everything'll be okay.

I sit on the ground next to Johnny, who's still standing. I look down. You can be put in the electric chair for killing.  I thought, but I guess I murmured it too, because Johnny looked at me and said "I'm going to be okay. So will you and Pony." I feel I should tell him. It might be too late if I wait.

"Johnny?"

"Yeah?"

"Ever since I was born, I never left your arms. I never left your side. Correct?"

"Yes."

"I always told myself if you died before I did, I'd still stay beside you."

"How?"

"I'll stay with you. Either bury myself alive next to you and suffocate myself or just sit next to your grave until I die from hunger or thirst."

He just sat there silently. I don't know what was going through his head. I don't know what he wanted to say. I didn't even know any what ifs that could make this situation worse. He opened his mouth to speak, but his words got stuck in his throat, so he closed it.

Finally, he said "You don't have to do that for me. You're-" I already know what he's gonna say. "Let me guess: too young to understand?" I turn around to him. "You're six. You still have a full life ahead of you." I look back at the sky. Pony saved me from the rest of the conversation by coming out. All I could think about is the argument we just had until Pony said "Nothing Gold Can Stay." I turn around.

Nature's first green is gold.

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower.

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief.

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.

Nothing gold can stay? You got that right! Sunset and sunrises don't stay. Eventually, they'll turn blue, black, or grey. The sun doesn't stay. It'll go down eventually. I look at Johnny as he talks to Pony. In my eyes, I see gold when I look at him. Will he stay with me? He now knows what I'll do to myself if he doesn't.

Four to five days later, well, everyday, I have another nightmare, but in one of them, I'm back with Johnny when we got jumped, but this time, once he got stabbed, Dally came and turned us in to the police, Johnny was put in the electric chair and I was burnt to death. I wake up and watch the sunset outside alone that night.

That morning, I heard someone outside and hear them walk around the church. I'm already assuming the worst. What if it's the police? What if my dream comes true? I quickly lie back down and pretend to be asleep as I hear them break in. My body is filled with shivers as I hear a voice. "Rise and shine." Phew. It's Dally. I lean up and shake Johnny awake as Dally hands Pony something. I can't really tell what it was, but I ask Dally "So how's it back home?"

"Darry's freaking out, so is Sodapop. The read head broad from the Drive-In, what was her name, she visited us at Pony's and talked to us a little. We got a little spy now. I told them and the cops that you three were on your way to Texas. Two-Bit didn't believe me at first, but now he wants to go hunting for you guys there. I convinced him not to."

He then looked at Pony. "Check out blondie over here," he scoffed. I looked at Pony, then turned back to Dally. "He dumped the entire bottle of bleach on himself. You should've seen his face," I laughed. "Hey, I know it's lousy, but don't rub it in," Pony complained. "Hey ya guys wanna head out to eat?" I shoot to my feet. "We've literally eaten nothing but baloney for five days!"  I told Dally as we left the church.

The drive-for-food was eventful. Dally had two feet on the gas with his hands in the air. My hands were in the air too as I was yelling "Woo Hoo!" and Pony and Johnny yelling at Dally to drive responsibly. Eventually, we drove into Dairy Queen and got our food. We ate in silence with no one recognizing us (thank God) until Johnny broke the silence when we were about to drive back. "We're going back and turning ourselves in." Um no. You're not getting put in the electric chair. "I'm sorry what was that?" Dally asked as Johnny said it again. I look at Pony, who's in the back seat with me, as Johnny told Dally his plan while he drove away. 

"Johnny, ya don't know what a couple months in jail could do to you man. Look at me, I just don't wanna see that happening to you like it did to me." If that happened to Johnny, I'd kill myself. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened to Johnny. When we pulled in the church, part of my nightmare came true, and I knew I was gonna burn to death. The church was on fire. Dally drove closer to the fire. I look out the window and I could see two teachers and a group of kids and I can hear one of the teachers say the other "Some of the kids are still in there!"

That was when Pony jumped out of the car and ran towards the church. As we all yell for him to get back in the car, he runs towards the burning church. I look at Johnny and Dally, and Johnny jumps out. Dally tries to grab him to stay in as I get out to go with him. Dally looks at me and lets go of Johnny. "Anniepie, get back in!"

"If Johnny gets in first." I look back at where Johnny was standing, but he was already running towards the church calling for Pony, so I run after him. "Anniepie!" Dally called, but I didn't stop running until I caught up with Johnny and Dally didn't chase after us. Johnny and I caught up with Pony as we smashed into the church and climbed inside. 

For the first time, I was able to ignore that what ifs. I was able to ignore the worst case scenarios. I was able to ignore the nightmares. We found the kids that were trapped. My mind told me if you don't get out now, you'll be in these kids situation, but I was able to ignore it as I threw the kids out the window into Dally's arms.

The thought kept repeating in my mind as the four of us were saving the kids. Eventually, we got the last kid out of the church. Pony somehow got out of that church, but Johnny was trapped. I stayed with him. If he was gonna die, so was I. I look around to see if there's a corner he can cram himself through to get out, but there isn't. He can't smash through any walls or else the whole thing would come down on us. I let out a shriek.

Then the church collapsed on us.


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