so far it's alright

Eight

I wake up to the sound of my phone, not my actual alarm an actual call. Feeling around the blanket I bring my phone to my face opening one eye to see Caroline's name on the screen.
"What's up?" I answer pulling the blankets tight around me in the chilly morning.
"How was last night? You never texted me back when I asked if you got home."
My eyes flew open darting around the room. The bed was empty next to me and I could smell cigarettes and coffee wafting in from the other room.
"Shit, I think I stayed at Matty's by accident." Caroline laughed on the other end. "no seriously I can't like him this much already it's not good for me."
"Not good for you to like a boy that's gorgeous and obviously into you. It's not like you've been deep with Cam recently, obviously the breakup was recent but we both know the feelings faded a while ago."
"Still this isn't going to be like that friends that sleep together sometimes is what I need right now."
"Whatever you say girl, I just wanted to make sure you're alive. Call or text later when you go home alright?"
We say our goodbyes and I try to think of how I'm going to keep this from being too serious. The smell of coffee was calling me from the other room. I found my pants from last night next to the bed, but my shirt was no where to be found so I settled for tucking Matty's shirt in. From the other room I could hear voices speaking quietly, I used my phone  as a mirror to get my hair piled into a bun and wipe as much smeared makeup off my face as I could. Unable to help myself I stopped behind the closed door, leaning my ear against it to hear what I was walking out to.
"You're in way too deep man, she's a great girl and if you hurt her that'll be it. Car told me about her last boy, the one she found cheating that night. They had a really serious thing, and even if she's in the shape to move on are you really ready for that? It was only one day with her before you lost it again."
"I know. But it's different, She's not like Laura or Sim. I don't want the numbness when I'm with her, I want to feel what's she's feeling, tell her what's going on in my head. It's crazy I feel like I should just tell her I love her now so she knows she's stuck with me."
Before I could hear anything more to make me feel even more nervous I back away sitting back down on the bed. Taking a few deep breaths I decided I'm just going to pretend I hadn't heard what he said, neither of us wanted to hurt the other so I could tell myself this was just fun. I hope.
Walking out of Matty's room I slipped into the bathroom as quickly as I could, using the toilet and wiping my face again.
"Morning," I said to both boys walking to the counter and pouring myself a mug.
"Good morning sunshine did you enjoy your night." George winked as a means of punctuating his sentence.
"Yes I did. I thought the show was great, and had a lovely time after." Matty smiled at me but he stayed quiet
"Good enough to come see us again some time?"
"Of course, just tell me when and where."
I sipped my coffee as quickly as I could waiting for a good chance to escape from the flat. George got to telling me about stupid things Matty had done as a teen, all the trouble they got into. From Matty's Rosie cheeks I could tell that he wasn't thrilled that George wanted to talk so much.
Placing my glass in the sink I told them I needed to head out, saying I'd take a cab. Being the polite young man George is he offered to drive me home on his way to pick up his girlfriend. As much as I wanted to just sit in a cab alone and think I accepted the offer, knowing that taking a cab would mean sitting with a very quiet Matty for longer than I felt comfortable.
"Let me go grab my jacket I'll meet you down stairs." My jacket was draped over the back of the couch I could feel Matty watching and following me to the couch when George closed the door.
"You're wonderful you know that right?" He asked
"I'm not all that great, I think you're just blinded by seeing me naked so much already."
Matty smiled looking like he might say something to retort, instead he pulled me in close by the front of my jacket. The kiss was different from last nights, from any kiss we'd shared so far. His hand held my jaw softly, the other on my lower back gently holding me against him.
"I've got to go Matty George is waiting," I whispered pulling my face just far enough from him to speak, but not opening my eyes. He sighed heavily back to me resting his forehead on mine for a split second before letting go.
"I'll text you okay."
"Bye Matty."

The car ride was quiet at first, George was going through his phone to find the perfect song he wanted to hear before breaking the somewhat awkward silence.
"So what are you planning to be with Matty?"
"We're just having fun," my answer definitely came out too fast earning an eyebrow raise from George.
"Are you certain he's also having fun?"
"Isn't he? I didn't assume a guy like Matty was really into settling down, especially after the night of that party. Plus, I broke up with my ex what? A week ago, maybe."
George tapped his fingers along the steering wheel.
"Just be careful okay, you're a great girl I know you'll make the right decisions for you. Please just keep in mind that Matty is," he was struggling for the words to describe his best friend.
"Incredibly charming? Sensitive? Genius? Unstable?"
"Yes. All of those things. And you're the first girl I've seen him bring back to the apartment in a long time, and that girl really fucked up his life."
"I know."
We stayed in content silence the rest of the short ride home, humming along to the music together.
"Thanks for the ride George, don't forget to let me know about the next shows." I pulled myself out of the car the cold air making me what to crawl back in.
"I won't, be careful with my best friend okay?"
"Goodbye George."
Shutting the car door I headed up my front steps.