so far it's alright

Twenty-one

I'd managed to fall back asleep for about 4 hours, crawling out from Matty's grasp around 9:30 to run, and sort my thoughts out. Standing under the steaming water of the shower I heard a light knock on the door as it opened slightly.
"Can I come in?"
I peeked around the shower curtain. Matty's eyes were rimmed with red, his face looking paler than ever. Nodding I'd assumed he just meant come into the bathroom, but as he slid his boxers off his legs I realized what he meant. Wrapping his arms around me as he stepped into the tub he placed a kiss against my shoulder.
"I don't think I can apologize enough for last night. You shouldn't have to put up with me like that."
"It was hard to see you so upset."
He switched spots with me so the water was splashing on his back, blocking me from it entirely.
"Are you mad? You've got every right to be mad."
"Of course I'm not mad. I wanted to be, but seeing you that upset just made me worried. What happens when someone offers you something like that on the road? Or something even worse?"
"I'd never take something from someone I don't know."
"That doesn't make me feel better."
We switched spots again so I could rinse the soap from my body. I felt Matty's eyes crawl over me from behind me.
"I don't deserve a girl like you."
I pulled him under the stream of water with me pressing my lips hard against his. As upset as I was with him for not telling me he was tripping, it still hurt to think that he didn't feel like he deserved me.
"You can't just take something, and then not tell me."
"I won't."
Turning the shower off once Matty had rinsed himself off I stepped out grabbing my towel and getting a second one for him. After drying his body he wrapped his hair up into a towel twist on top of his head. I couldn't help but smile at him.
"Don't giggle at me, you've got long hair you get it."
A suppressed giggle sputtered out of me. We both dressed quickly my bedroom was freezing in comparison to the warm bathroom. Matty threw on his jeans from the night before, forgoing boxers since he had no clean ones at my house, and pulling a hoodie on. I put on some leggings with pentagram cutouts above the knees and a black sweater. Offering to make breakfast Matty turned me down, apparently after a trip he took a while to get his appetite back. He agreed to drink tea while I ate, only because I'd insisted.
"Do you want to come to Sam's with me to get my car?"
"I wish, I've got a meeting soon with the guys and our manager. Tour news."
"Oh," I refused to let myself be upset that they were going to tour. I had to be happy for him.
Sensing my uneasiness Matty wrapped me in a hug. Telling me it would probably be a couple months before they left. Soon he had texted George to come grab him on his way to their flat. I called a cab to take me over to Sam's, having a hard time saying goodbye to Matty for the day.
"I promise I'll call you as soon as I know what's happening, and then we can have dinner tonight just us two. Maybe even go out someplace so you don't have to cook it."
Agreeing with him we heard George beeping from outside. Matty held me against him for a few seconds longer, kissing my hair then meeting my lips. He looked in my eyes mouth opening as if he was going to say goodbye again, but he closed it and turned towards the door. I waved to George before I shut my door, collecting my purse and keys before my cab pulled up to take me to Sam's.

Stepping into Sam's it was obvious almost everyone had left. The living room was already cleaned, and I found Sam and Caroline sitting at the kitchen table eating.
"How was the rest of the night lads?"
"Well someone has to wash the guest room sheets now," Sam pointed accusingly at our friend with a big smile on her face.
"Caroline you dirty girl! I thought you said you guys were keeping it casual."
"Wait you knew they were hooking up!"
All three of us laughed.
"Although from the bruising on your neck I don't think you have any right to pick on anyone for being a 'dirty girl' hun."
My hands flew to cover my neck, red creeping up my face. It hadn't even occurred to me after my shower to put any makeup on.
"Relax at least you went home to be rambunctious instead of waking up half the house," Caroline joked picking on herself.
The three of us spent the next several hours watching tv snacking together. I decided I didn't want to talk to them about what happened with Matty last night. Sure it would eventually come up, but for now it felt too private to share. Although I couldn't help but bring up the impending tour.
"How long do you think they'll be gone for?"
"Probably only a few months then home for a break, then a few more months. That's what it's been like before."
"Aside from Laura has Matty ever dated someone while touring?"
"Wait who's Laura?" Caroline questioned.
"Matty's ex, the one who overdosed," Sam responded before I could, giving me a concerned look, "I didn't realize he told you about her."
"He did. The night he picked me up here after the club."
"Makes sense he'd want to share his past with you after hearing what you went through," Carrie said picking apart the hole in her jeans.
I wasn't sure if her uncomfortable demeanor was from bringing up my uncomfortable past, Matty's, or thinking about George leaving for tour.
"Do you think you'll keep things going with George on your?"
"Probably not, I'm sure we'll talk while he's gone. It just doesn't seem like we'd be ready for something like that. What about you and Matty?"
"We're going to dinner tonight to talk about it. They're in a meeting nowish with the tour manager."
As if he could sense me talking about him my phone buzzed with a text from Matty.