Save Me With A Lullaby [Jackbum]

Lullaby 7

The two sat in silence, after the embrace between the two, the past 7 minutes were silent and awkward. Jaebum sat on the seat beside the bed, while Jackson laid down and faced the ceiling. Jackson would be lying if he didn't miss the warm arms surrounding him, comforting him like cotton blankets. However, these hospital blankets were uncomfortable and weren't warm enough to satisfy the dread. 

They only felt like a strait jacket, bounding him with the cursed bundle of whites. Honestly, he believes he is insane enough to be in these bounds. Demons having him under a curse, where he is never in control but the monster that lives strongly in his mind, where it drags him to the brink of insanity.

"Your boyfriend was texting you," Jaebum finally broke the silence, his body shifting in the uncomfortable plastic chair. Jackson's thoughts were dragged away from the brisk of polluted darkness, as confusion clouded his mind. "What do you mean?" Jackson tilts his head, not knowing he had a boyfriend. Overall, have one. He is single.

Until, he remembered that very night, and the cold, wet hands touching his device and sealing it with a curse of remembrance. Making him fear and self-loathe.

"Did you break up with him? If you did, he is wanting you back with disgusting messages." Jaebum's tone was blunt, but his eyes seem to flare by the thoughts of seeing Jackson possibly being mistreated or is involved in an abusive relationship. Jackson doesn't deserve to be in that situation, he is already in a hospital bed with his second chance.

Jackson shook his head, his throat suddenly feeling dry. He wanted to say something about that night, however the sudden anxiety made his mouth dry. His own mind pacing like crashing, ocean waves - his own tongue dry as the sand of a desert. He couldn't find confidence to admit it.

He didn't want to admit being raped.

If he did, he already knew it will be his fault for being raped.

He shouldn't have worked the night shift.

He shouldn't have walked in that stormy night.

The possibility of being raped would of been lowered, or so he thinks.

Jaebum furrowed his brows, "No? He was never your boyfriend?" he asks and Jackson just avoided eye contact. Licking his lips anxiously, he fidget with his fingers, his vacant eyes looking out the window with nature not bothered and accompanied by the sun's bright rays. The only light that would reflect his eyes, but it will only last for mere hours, and disappear just like the sun setting off to sleep.

Although his eyes become the moon, they were never crescent or bright as the stars, only tired and darkness take over the chocolates that are lifeless. His eyes represented the night sky, where darkness develops with a monster lurking.

"Jackson?"

"I-I was-"

"Mr. Wang! I heard you were awake, how are you feeling today?" the doctor walked in, but it wasn't Mr. Tuan like the night before, but another. Jackson's eyes drifted away from Jaebum, and faced the doctor that have abruptly walked inside. Slightly annoyed, Jaebum chewed on his bottom lip lightly, while turning towards the doctor.

"I'm fine..."

"That's good to hear," the doctor said with a smile and dimples showed off within his smile. "I'm Kim Namjoon, but please just call me Namjoon. I am your psychiatrist until you're released, but you will remain attending sessions while out, but with someone else." explained the other, glancing down at his check board and Jackson nodded. Jaebum got up, "Please." he motioned his hands towards the chair, however the blonde with streaks of ash smiled politely and declined.

"The session will be quick for today, since it is your first day and introductions will only happen. Sessions will be an hour, but this session will be 30 minutes, is that fine?" Namjoon asks, and Jackson nodded while Jaebum sat back down. "Also, hello, nice to meet you. I forgot to let you introduce yourself," chuckled out the psychiatrist, letting out a friendly hand towards Jaebum. The other smiled back with a nod of respect, taking his hand in a grasp. "Jaebum, nice to meet you, too."

The 30 minutes flew by quickly, but Jackson doubted the hour sessions would be short as the one of today's. But, he did feel comfortable while talking with Namjoon. The other was easygoing and was a great listener, specifically listening to specific details which dragged the topic much longer. Throughout the whole thing, Jackson's anxiety trigger was low. It may be Namjoon or Jaebum, since the raven head have also stayed and participated.

Although, he was distracted, his thoughts still led back to the curiosity after the session.

It was around dinner time, and Jaebum never noticed he have stayed for an hour, already. But, he wasn't thinking of leaving anytime, soon. Jackson ate the cake that Jaebum brought before, and ate small portions of his dinner, while Jaebum ate the larger portions to not waste food. Jaebum wiped his mouth with a napkin, and looked at the blonde, whom calmly ate with a dazed expression.

"What were you about to say before Namjoon came in?"

Jackson turned to face him, and he looked down at the tray of food. He thought he have forgotten about it. He picked up a spoonful of peas and stuffed his mouth, not wanting to say anything. He felt insecure.

"Nothing..." he mumbles out, and Jaebum sighs.

He couldn't force him. It was wrong, especially since he is already in a hospital bed, he is fragile. Since he was, Jaebum wanted to make his apology sincere and known. The embrace was memorable, but Jaebum think it wasn't enough.

"Jackson, I truly am sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you, I... I was just angry. I don't like hospitals, and it gives me mix emotions. I am sorry for lashing out," Jaebum puts down the snack cup of vanilla pudding. His eyes boring into the other's, Jackson knew he meant the apology. Jaebum doesn't seem the type to lie about these things, besides his gaze says otherwise. Those chocolates intensely staring back, it made Jackson look away, feeling intimidated.

"Its okay. I-I'm sorry for... Hurting you and Jinyoung's feelings. I seem to do it all the time, and I'm really sorry-"

"I understood how you felt, yesterday. I know, Jackson." Jaebum's tone was low, and his gaze seems to soften as he seemed to remember something from the past. A memory of where his heart didn't seem to have that armor he have, today.

Jackson looked back at him, and he stared back at the soft gaze of the other's. Nodding, he looked away.

He never seen anyone look that way. He always see the pity, but he have never seen anyone have the eyes of understanding. Supposedly, the pity would understand either way, but the gaze was different. In Jackson's perspective, he saw someone wounded, not a knight with shining armor.

He saw the broken heart that Jaebum's eyes reflected back on.

He saw it because he has the same eyes, every time he stares at his own reflection. He knows.

"Thank you," whispers Jackson.

"Why?" Jaebum seem to shake off the memory, as he came back from reality. Once again, he was The Jaebum. Jackson knows he wears a mask, he was strong enough to create one.

"You and Jinyoung, thank you for saving me."

Jaebum felt himself stiffened, goosebumps growing along his flesh. Flustered, he smiled at him and looked down at the empty cup of pudding. "You're welcome. You deserve it," whispered Jaebum. Looking up a bit, he saw Jackson nod. However, he didn't see any light spark within those dark eyes. Unfortunately, it would take time to Jackson to completely heal.

However, Jaebum is willing to take all the time to heal him.

~

i know, this is a short chapter. but i felt like what i have planned next is weird to add into this chapter, so the next chapter will be up maybe tonight? 

wattpad kept crashing also, and i am not sure if it is only with this chapter, but i hope to god it is only this chapter because that shit is really annoying s i g h 

also, thank you so much for 300+ reads! I appreciate it a lot. Also, the votes, I appreciate it :) <3